Just for Yeager

The Encounter, Pt.2

Understanding her complexity—a near impossible thing to do. As she slowly veered to my direction, I felt this eerie gap between us stretch in the most looming way. Her shallow eyes, just as flat and glassy as mine, ate at me from afar. I felt like I was caught in a showdown, accepting it as such. And as the silence grew more insidious, I grew more confident in my conviction.

From what I recollected from Eren's tales on his childhood, he had granted her a second chance at life. Such a foolish, yet considerate unselfish little boy. Still brash and reckless as always; but that time he got lucky, lucky enough that they both walked out of there alive. Of course Mikasa would be forever grateful, forever dedicated to Yeager. I too would have owed him my life if he had taken such action for my defense. But this woman had surpassed borderline obsession, latched onto his side like a Siamese twin. It was disgusting, the codependence she whole-heartedly believed to be true.

She surely thought I had taken him from her, had stolen the precious moments she could have had with him. Mikasa didn't want to share, and honestly, neither did I. I wanted him all for myself, and every time I would pull his attention, she would always stab me a spearing glower. Cared less, I cared less about how she saw me. And when it came to protecting her knight in shining armor at the tribunal, my actions came out callousness rather than caring to her. Ever since, she wanted to carve my face open.

I approached the ring, and she responded by striping her boxing gloves off. Mikasa did not dismount, and it seemed she wanted me to join her in the contained box. But I kept grounded, slipping my hands in my pockets, looking up to her for words.

"Can I help you?" She finally addressed me, with bitterness under-toned.

"I haven't seen you in over a week. Commander told me you've been dodging your assignments and routine missions."

"I'm still grieving," she answered in a restless sigh, slugging over to the punching bag. She couldn't keep her eyes on me for long, thumping her forehead on the coarse fabric swaying between her arms.

"Hard to believe you felt any type of way about Yeager's passing. You didn't show up on site, and didn't even bother attending his funeral."

She veered to me with a softened voice. "Why did it matter if I presented myself or not? Wouldn't have validated or discredited anything."

"It didn't, but I figured you out of all people would have wanted to see him one last time."

"I... didn't want my last memory of him to be a solemn one."

"Or, you didn't want to feel so... guilt-ridden." What a trigger to force, and I was upfront enough to say it aloud. She spun her hateful mien down on me, a malice I surely would never forget. I felt more captivated by how she sensed my accusation over anything else. Only a criminal would jump to conclusions.

Go on, Mikasa. Feed me that sheepish, sinful face. Let me see it. Let me expose you for who you really are!

"Are you implying that I murdered Eren?"

I narrowed my eyes on her approaching, and a part of me prepared myself on the defensive. There was no turning back now, not that I would have wanted to, but perhaps I should have brought a weapon at the very least. As I began to slip my lips open in response, I suddenly found her bent before me, arms stretched between the ring ropes and fist clung to my collar. She yanked me in, my face colliding with the wires in a sharp burn as I gritted my teeth at the unexpected aggression. My hand snatched her bound arm, but her latch wouldn't part ways with me.

"Come up here," she grunted, "come up here and say it."

"I'm not going to fight you, Mikasa."

Just like that, she reeled me in with ease, through the ropes and onto the ring. Rolling on my knee, I stroked my chin from the graze, looking up to her with much caution. I admitted to not thinking this through, but this wasn't a possible outcome I could have calculated.

"You come here and accuse me of sending my best friend to his grave? You have no choice!"