Chapter 8
S U M M Y R
I sat at the table picking at my food very uncomfortable. It's been a full 2 weeks since my little "incident" and I can honestly say that I felt better, I've been better . And it's all thanks to the people around me, they never fail to show me how much they care for me and I felt selfish for taking that for granted and not realizing it sooner .
But me and Ben still have yet to really talk about the situation so here we are today, eating out in public so we could both control ourselves and really talk, cause god knows if we had this talk in a private setting it wouldn't go well .
I knew he felt like this whole thing was his fault and I don't want him to feel that way, he has been beating hisself up pretty bad about it and I hated that I caused that, I hated what I did in the first place and I'm happy god gave me a second chance .
" I seen my dad ..." I spoke up. He lifted his head to let me know he was well interested.
"And our baby girl... she was so beautiful, she had your nose . " I smiled recalling the near death experience I had. He was the first person I was telling this to .
"My dad told me to forgive you and stop pretending like I forgive you, he told me that it wasn't my time yet, because we still had time and things to accomplish. Because wynter would be lost without me . and my momma .... anyway ." I stopped myself because I was getting teary eyed .
"I say that to say.... I forgive you Ben. You're the love of my life, you taught me this love shit. And this whole thing wasn't your fault, I was going through shit way before you . " he grabbed my hand placing a kiss on it but never letting it go .
"I love you Summyr you know that, I love you more than life itself . So when you tried ta' leave me baby I was so mad, At you and at myself. I was mad at you because I didn't understand how could you want to leave me here by myself, we could of worked on our shit but you tried to leave me man -" he dragged his hands across his face,
" but I was mad at myself because I pushed you to that poin-"
"No ben don't say that ..."
"No, Summyr I pushed you to that point . All you wanted was for me to be there and give you some type of emotion to let you know that I cared ... I'm damaged baby I don't know the first thing about showing emotions . But I will try just fa' you cause I ain't tryna push you to that point again ." I wiped my eyes, I was tired of crying sick of showing my weak side .
" I'm ready for this journey if you are ..." he smiled .
"I been ready ." He reached over placing a kiss on my forehead .
" let's go back to your place.." I smirked rubbing my feet on his leg .
"Say no mo baby, ay check !!"
K E N T R E L L
I watched wynter as she was fast asleep in my arms. Of course she forgave a nigga she couldn't be mad at me for long I wouldn't allow that shit . I smiled at how mean she looked in her sleep, her fine ass .
I had to figure out a way to officially ask her to be my girl, even though she already is but I know my bitch, she want me to ask her and that's what ima do . My shit gotta be some type of romantic even though that shit ain't for me ima try it out .
I couldn't fuck this up with this girl, she got good qualities in her that couldn't no other nigga have access to . But I know with my damaged ass it was bond to happen, I couldn't keep my dick in pants . No matter how hard I tired but I haven't been fucking bitches tho, only been getting Head . I guess that's still considered cheating, as long as she don't find out we cool .
