Wrong Choices (A Phanfiction)

Chapter 4: Explanations

~Dan's POV~

"Phil I-" I stuttered but nothing came out. I can't believe he finally found out. I was clean for a good 5 months when I thought I stopped. But after 2 years of my relapse; he finally found out.

"Dan."

"I'm sorry." I look down not being able to look him in the eyes.

Whenever Phil gets sad or disappointed he just has this expression. An expression you never want to see. Your heart kinda drops and you instantly feel like you just kicked a puppy or stepped on a cat's tail. But I've seen this expression one too many times.

"You don't have to apologize. If anything, I'm sorry. It's all my fault." He looks down and I can see his expression. The one I always dread seeing on his beautiful face.

"No, how could it be your fault? In no way will it ever be your fault. You saved me Phil." I squeaked out quietly.

I remember the memory like it was just yesterday.

~Third Person POV Flashback~

"Hey Dan!" Energetic 15 year old Phil approached 14 year old Dan.

"Hello Phil, what's up?" Dan asked, looking up from his phone on the bench where he sat.

"Oh nothing much. Just wanted to be with you that's all." Phil leaned his head against Dan's and they sat in silence for awhile.

"How did you know I was here?" Dan asked, curiously.

"This is your thinking place, silly. Of course you'll be here." Phil booped his nose.

With the sun starting to set, Phil started to shiver. Late nights in Manchester were very cold and Phil didn't have a jacket. Meanwhile, Dan was all layered.

"Oh Phil, you're freezing." Dan's hand gripped Phil's.

"N-no, I'm t-totally fine!" Phil rubbed his arms.

"Take my jacket, you idiot." Dan smiled and Phil giggled.

"But then you'll be cold?" Phil frowned.

"But that doesn't matter." Dan shook his head, zipping the jacket up for the shivering boy beside him.

Forgetful of the red, self inflicted, wounds left on his wrists and arms from earlier, Dan sat in silence. Though Phil, noticed everything right away.

"D-Dan..." Phil's eyes widened. "Why."

He gave Dan an expression that was full of emotion.

Phil was confused and worried about his best friend. Why would someone as perfect as Dan want to ruin his own skin?

"Why what?" But suddenly Dan stopped.

He paused for a moment, then squeezed his eyes shut remembering everything.

The names, the hits, the razor, the blood.

"Phil I-I'm sorry I just-" Dan tried to speak but couldn't form words.

"Come here." Phil stepped forward wrapping his arms around the fragile boy. "Dan, you are perfect in every single way possible. You are the most handsome boy ever. You have the sweetest personality. And you never fail to make me smile. Please tell me why you purposely hurt yourself." Phil sniffed, holding back tears. He's never experienced something like this before.

"School, the people, the bully's, the words, the hits, the names, at home, my family, my life. Everything is falling apart Phil, everything." Dan sobbed into his shoulder causing Phil to grip onto him tighter.