No | Chensung

Femten

Say - Ruel

He regretted it.

Oh how Jisung regretted it.

Chenle just wanted to be nice.

But Jisung just pushed him away like he does with everyone.

He was actually surprised that they got as far as they did. Normally Jisung would push people away after a day or two. But not this time. Not with Chenle.
There was something special about the boy. He made Jisung feel a weird feeling that he couldn't recognise. A feeling that was unknown to him.

But now he was by himself again.

He could always just tell him he was sorry. That it was an accident. That he was pissed at his dad. That he had a fight with his brother.

But he didn't dear to.

He felt like a burden, and he didn't like that.

He didn't want to bother Chenle.

He didn't want to be the burden he knew he was.

Always talking to much.

Always saying to little.

Always making such a deal out of nothing.

Always not caring.

He didn't want to do that to Chenle.

He didn't want to waste his time.

Chenle had sent him lots of messages, but Jisung didn't know that, as his phone was nowhere near him.

He was nowhere near home.

He ran away.

Again.

Now it was just Jisung and his thoughts.

Normally people would be searching for him.

But that was not the case now.

Jaehyun, Jisung older half brother, knew where Jisung was.

He also knew that when Jisung ran away leaving his phone, it meant he needed to alone away for a while.

It's easier just to run away.

That's what Jisung said to himself.

Everything would be alright if he just disappeared.

It at least seemed like it worked for his mom.

His mom ran away from the family when he was 12.

4 years ago.

For 4 years he had been stuck with just his father.

Neither Jisung nor Jaehyun knew where their mom went.

But Jaehyun didn't care.

He no longer had a relation to the family.

And so it went on.

Jisung was suddenly stuck with an abusive alcoholic father who just used him as a punching bag.

Life has never been easy for Jisung, and it probably never will be.

At least he had Jaehyun back.

He was so thankful for his older brother and his husband.

They had taken him in right away when Jisung had tried to get in touch with them again.

They had also accepted him, which was something Jisung had never experienced before.

The first time he opened up to someone it resulted in them running away.
The second time he got a good round of beating, three broken ribs and two black eyes.
But the third time he was welcomed buy two sets of open and warm arms.

Jisung was however still scared to open up to other people.

That was why he pushed people away.
That was why he pushed Chenle away.
That was why he was currently sitting under a bridge by the Han river in Seoul, crying his eyes out.

That was why he also got up on his feet and started walking.

He wanted to be stronger.

He knew he was stronger.

He wanted to be open about.
He wanted to own it.
He wanted to be proud.
He wanted to show he could handle it.
Like how Renjun did.
He wanted to be strong like Renjun.

Starting from today he was going to be stronger.

And his first step was talking to Chenle.