The Thousand Words We Spoke (A Novella)

Chapter Nine

The celebration proceeded on as they always did. Someone began playing Christmas songs on the piano, which everyone drunkenly sang along to. All the appetizers helped suck up the alcohol, but failed to fill the stomach. Her grandfather's secretary was sick in the upstairs bathroom and cleaned up before her boss saw her like that. The neighbor's next door had their argument, then found some room to make up in. Mia stuck to mingling with her family.

The only thing that was different this year was that Adam was the talk of the party; everyone desperate to hear of his travels. He'd always been the interesting one; the son who never had an interest in taking the throne in business and instead pursued his dream. His older brother was excellent at his job and a benefit to the company, but Adam had always been the genius of the group. It blew people's minds that he ended up taking the direction he took.

Even Mia got sucked in a few times by the discussions, unable to help herself. They hadn't talked about his trip during the single night he'd visited her, only about the honeymoon he planned to take her on. She felt ridiculous for being as awestruck as the rest of them and sillier yet when he acknowledged it.

The riff between them, however, became more noticeable as the night proceeded. Once he'd told all his stories, Mia forced her attention away from him. It was natural to get sucked in again and again when that other, more distant side of him wasn't making an appearance. But she couldn't allow that to happen. There was no point in second guessing her determination when nothing could come of it. No stolen glances or slight touches would ever result in anything real between them.

Everything he did and said that night would be an act of desperation to keep her, and she couldn't allow that; To cheat or consume her.

"What's going on with you and Adam?" her mother asked once they were alone as they could get in a crowded house.

Mia finished her fourth glass of champagne and set it on a nearby tray before looking over at her mother. Though she was wearing red like most of the other women, she stood out none the less. The dress hugged every curve of her body. She always looked younger than she was, and tonight was no different. Nothing about her mother looked like a woman approaching fifty.

"I kissed him when he visited Chicago and he ran away," Mia admitted. Her mother knew full well how she'd always felt about Adam, so there was little reason to lie about it. She'd never judged her feelings and was easy to talk to since she did her best not to judge or overreact.

"I'm sorry, you did what?"

Mia tilted her head and shrugged. "Seemed like a good idea at the time. And hey, at least now I know that what I've felt all this time was real and know he'll never feel the same."

"So he didn't kiss you back?"

That wasn't a question she'd expected her mother to ask, but there was no reason not to answer. "He did, then he made it clear that what I want isn't something he can ever give me, so we're more of less at an impasse. There's no going back and no going forward. He was hoping we could fix it, but earlier I told him it would be easier for me if we just went our separate ways."

Her mother crossed her arms and looked hard at Adam, who looked away from the two of them when he noticed they caught him staring. "Did he react?"

Everyone was used to Adam showing the emotion of a rock, never willing to open up or fully illustrate how he felt. He kept everything under lock and key inside. Yet he let Mia in; not always and not absolutely, just enough to make her feel significant.

So when she reflected to the moment she was trying to drink away, hoping to obliterate it from her memory, it was still very much intact and still very much stung. "He cried."

That was by far the grimmest part about it. He'd shown himself absolutely to her, let her in wholly for the very first time, and it gave her a fictitious sense of confidence they could resolve this.

"He did not," her mother answered in awe.

Mia just gave her an affirming nod. "I've never seen him so broken before, not even when his engagement ended or when we said goodbye before he left."

"You're sure he doesn't love you? Really love you?"

Mia looked over at her mother, her own eyes starting to overflow with tears at the question. "He admitted that he could fall in love with me and I think a small part of him already does, but he'll never give in to it and I told him I deserve better than that."

"You absolutely deserve better than that," her mother told her as she gave her arm a light squeeze. "Listen, kiddo, I know you love Adam and probably always will, no matter how much distance you put between the two of you. But I think you're making the right decision."

"At least one of us does." Mia felt it was right as soon as she made it and even when she stepped foot in the house. She felt it when he spoke to her at the party. Yet as soon as she stepped into that room alone with him, she spoke with all the determination she failed to feel within.

"It is right, Mia. I know you don't feel it right now because it hurts so much, but it is the right thing to do. If I thought he would give you the world, I'd figure out how to be okay with it. But there is a lot to lose on his end and if he isn't willing to risk it, then you need to walk away."

She'd actually be driving a U-Haul away, but this wasn't the time for that discussion.

"So it was just a kiss, right? Nothing else happened?"

It was evident what her mother was asking with that question. "I didn't sleep with him, no. I mean, we were in my bed, but it was just a kiss. An amazing kiss, but still just a kiss. And I thought I went about it in a way where everything would be fine afterwards."

"But then he felt something," her mother guessed.

"And had no idea how to deal."

Her mother nodded, then drained her own glass of champagne. "So, should I be mad at him for breaking my only child's heart?"

While Adam did break her heart, she knew that wasn't his intention, and she also knew what they were both risking. "Don't be mad at him. Just look out for him for me, would ya?"

"I can do that," her mother agreed. "Best not to tell your dad about this, however. I don't think he'd take it nearly as well as I think I did."

"There's no way in hell dad can ever know about this. And yes, you really were great about this."

"So now that all that is all out of the way," her mother began, "What do ya say we find some stronger booze and sit in the corner and judge people?"

"Hell yes."