My Secret "Sinful" Life

Chapter 2- The World Would Be A Better Place Without You...Or Not?

CHAPTER 2: The World Would Be A Better Place Without You...Or Not?

When we got home I went straight up to my room, completely ignoring the protests from my mother. She didn't really care that I chose not to spend time with her, in fact she was probably glad, she just enjoyed moaning at me. There was once a time, long ago when thinking that would have made me sad, made me cry even, but not anymore. I've become tolerant of my mother's cruel favouritism.

Once in my room I stripped off my Sunday best which my mother made me wear, throwing it in a careless pile in the corner and put on a baggy t-shirt and some fluffy Christmas trousers. I honestly didn't care what I looked like, it's not like I was going out tonight anyway.

I selected some particularly dark music on my ipod and settled down with my notebook to see if my inspiration would flow enough for me to construct a song.

As the melancholy tones blared out I stared at the blank page which was waiting for my words, like a canvas waits for paint. But nothing would come. No inspiration. No emotions. Just emptiness. And that's what hurts the most, the dull monotonousness of nothing.

I sighed and closed my eyes, letting the nothingness wash over my body, the emotionless music enveloping me.

BANG.

My brain felt like it was about to explode...

BANG.

Everything was burning with pain from the inside out...

BANG.

I couldn't resurface, I couldn't escape...

"MIRIAM! Miriam unlock this door at once!" My mother's voice bellowed. I groggily opened my eyes, taking in the twilight coming through my window.

"If you don't open this door in 5 seconds I will ground you for a month!" She screamed. Oh like that'll make much difference, she never lets me out anyway!

"Chill mother I'm coming!" I said. The second I turned the lock she barged through the door, knocking into me. "What do you think you're doing you silly girl?" She demanded.

"Um I was sleeping? It's something humans do, are you sure you haven't heard of it?" I replied sarcastically.

"Your sister was trying to do her homework and you're here being lazy and blasting disgusting music at frankly an unbearable level!" She nagged.

Like hell was my sister doing her homework she was probably trying out new make up and reading gossip magazines, god she has mum twisted around her little finger!

"Look at me when I'm talking to you! And for goodness sake turn off that terrible slit your wrist music!" She ordered.

I immediately recoiled at that comment, but I couldn't let her see.

"Honestly that music is almost blasphemous!" She stated disapprovingly.

"Well I like it, so I think I'll continue listening, thank you very much!" I argued back.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" I asked, hoping she would leave me alone.

"Actually it's your turn to cook dinner, I'd appreciate it if you'd be responsible for once," she said.

"Wait, it isn't my turn, it was my turn yesterday. And the day before that, and the day before that!" I replied, outraged.

"Well Angel has got to get ready to go to her lovely friend's house, and I've been so busy lately I'm just feeling too stressed to do anything," she complained. Too stressed to do anything. Too stressed to do anything? How does she think I feel?

I made no reply, if I tried to say what I wanted to say she'd just accuse me of making excuses.

"Anyway there's no point in arguing, you're making dinner and that's final." She stated. That was her catch phrase really "and that's final" she liked saying it a lot. Maybe one day she'll use it too many times when trying to oppress me, and then it will be final...

I took my iPod off the dock and immediately the sound cut out. "Oh praise The Lord I can think again!" She declared before turning and walking out of my room, but not before looking at my possessions with disdain. You may be able to think again, but it certainly isn't anything intelligent, I thought.

I peered into the fridge trying to find something to cook, I only agreed to cooking because I knew that if I didn't I wouldn't get anything to eat tonight.

I eventually decided on pasta bake, and set about to making it. To be honest I didn't mind cooking that much, it gave me time to myself to reflect which when living in a house with people like my mum and sister, is very precious.

Just when I'd taken the pasta bake out of the oven and I was breathing in deeply the mouth watering aromas, my sister sauntered in.

"So sis what've you cooked for me?" She demanded.

"Hello and it's nice to see you too darling sibling. I have cooked pasta bake for US." I replied sarcastically. She had never been talented when it came to manners, not that my mother ever noticed that.

"Ugh why have you cooked that? I've told you a million times I'm not eating carbs!" She moaned.

"What? You've never told me this before!" I replied.

"Um yes I have, I think I'd remember if I had told you, I'm not stupid you know. So what are you going to cook for me instead?" She asked, looking down at her phone and chewing gum.

At this point I started getting pissed off, I'd just put hard work into a meal for us and for her to just tell me to make her something else because she was on some stupid diet she hadn't told me about just took the biscuit.

"Why don't you just swallow your gum? That should fill you up, and maybe you'll even choke...!" I retorted back at her, my frustration evident.

This comment caused her to look up from her phone. "God Miriam you're so weird, people at school actually come up to me and give me their condolences for being related to you. It's no wonder mum's ashamed to have you as a daughter, I wouldn't be surprised if she wished you were dead..." She said menacingly, popping her gum right in my face.

That was it.

"We'll maybe she's not the only one who wishes that! Maybe I want that too! Maybe I'm ashamed to have her as a mother and I think condolences should be given to ME for having to put up with such an airheaded floozy as my sister!!" I bellowed finally dropping the mask I had been wearing to hide my real feelings. I guess that's something I share with my mother, and my sister too actually, we all hide who we are and how we feel.

She edged closer, so she was looking right down at my face less than an inch away, I could feel her breath on my hair.

"Why don't you then? Go on, do it. Die. No one would miss you, in fact everyone would probably celebrate. The world would be a better place without you." She whispered, her voice filled with malice.

She then proceeded to smirk down at me. "Oh and I almost forgot," she said, and then spat her gum in my hair...

Smiling triumphantly she walked away from me, shaking her hair and tossing a fresh piece of gum in her mouth.

Suddenly something over took me. I saw red and couldn't stop my anger bubbling over the top. I grabbed the pasta bake that was cooling on the side, walked over to her and tapped her on the shoulder. "Oh sorry I almost forgot something too," I said sweetly, then tipped the whole tray of pasta bake over her newly conditioned and highlighted hair...