Ksimon

Chapter 15

Josh

Simon and Vik head out to the front driveway to meet the other boys while I finish up grabbing the few essentials that may be needed for recording. I dash out the door and into the car with the rest of them "Where's JJ?" Simon asks. "He wanted to stay home, I think he was in a lot of pain and we didn't want him to injure himself any further" I say, confused on why JJ hadn't told Simon. As the car engine starts I take out my phone and get up JJ's contact, "We're now leaving, be safe and message us if you need us". A few moments passed before I got a response of "Okay". It wasn't long before we reached the field, Tobi parked the car in a space quite close to the area. We took out our equipment and walked over to the field. A couple hours passed by as we finally finish another 3 football challenges. We collect the balls that had scattered around the place as well as the cameras and other small pieces we brought. We load the car as we throw ourselves into seats and buckle up. Tobi starts the engine and we head straight out and on the road to home. "Josh can you message JJ quick? He won't answer any of my texts" Simon asks, sounding worried. "Yeah sure, he's probably gone back to sleep or something" I get my phone back out and bring JJ's contact up once again, "Simons trying to message you, everything good?" I send. 

Few minutes pass and we finally arrive back home, Me, Vik and Simon get out of the car and wave as the boys carry on their journeys home. "Josh did you lock the door?" Vik asks. "No?" I respond. I take out my keys from my coat pocket and unlock the door, I know I kept the door unlocked because JJ stayed home. We walk into our house, nothing but quiet as we place down our cameras and items. "Josh" Vik says, Concern laced in his voice. I watch as his eyes motion towards the coat rack and shoes, I look twice before realising what he meant, JJ's trainers and coat was gone. Again. "Why's it so quiet?" Simon says, looking over to me and Vik. "JJ's stuff is gone" I say, clearing my throat as I finish the sentence. I rush up the stairs and swing open JJ's door. No sign of him, I turn back round to see Simon and Vik looking around the place. "I knew something was wrong" Simon sighs. The issue with JJ disappearing is I never know whether I should be worried or leave him be. Out of everyone he's the least likely to just ghost like that, not to mention he was just missing for hours so we would be stupid not to take precaution just in case he's got himself into more trouble. He hasn't been himself since his argument with Simon, I'm hoping I'm not the only one who see's that.

JJ

I arrive back home, I pass my driver the cash and thank him, giving him a £20 tip. I limp my way over to the door, I see shadows of people inside. I really didn't want to talk or be near anyone right now, I hate how bad my anger can get when its channeled from me being hurt. I open the door and hop inside, "JJ thank god" "Where have you been?" I block out every word. I take my trainers off and toss my coat on a hook.I decide to take the stairs, throwing my crutch on the floor and painfully make my way up the stairs, regret of not taking the lift hits me but at least I don't have to look at any of them. I get into my room and shut the door, I don't know whether to ball my eyes out or take my anger out. I feel tears start to escape "I'm sick of FUCKING CRYING" I shout as I wipe my tears. I grab a gaming controller of the side of my desk and throw it against the wall. I pull at my dreads trying to keep the anger in me at bay. I slide my back against the doors to my wardrobe and take out the bottle of painkillers, putting another 2 in my mouth, dryly swallowing them. I whip my phone out and bring up my mums contact again, tears unknowingly start to fall down my face. "Considering you probably never want to see me again, I'm going to make one thing clear, I don't want people in my life that don't give a shit about me. Stay with Deji, at least I know he will grow up with the support of not one, but two parents. I may be more successful but that does not make any of you mean any less to me, I want us to fix this but I know you won't stand up to him. I just wish you wouldn't shut me out man. I love you, Goodbye". I hit send as my phone slips out of my hands and onto the carpet, I just stare into nothingness, the only feeling in me being empty. I want to talk to the boys about it because their my real family but I hate to see myself cry, it reeks of weakness and I can't show that. The only person on my mind is Simon, as much as I hate it I need him. Now more than ever. I pick myself up, my vision barely visible through the constant water building up in my eyes, I walk out of my room and over to Simon's. I don't knock I just walk in, he sits on his gaming chair,  editing another video, the click of his door handle making him turn around. 

Simon

Not much later JJ walks through the door, relief filling my body "JJ thank god" I say "Where have you been?" Josh asks shortly after. He takes his trainers off, deliberately not making eye contact with any of us, he walks straight past and to the stairs, throwing his crutch to the side and limping his way up to his room. "Whats up with him?" Vik asks, looking at me. "I have no idea, I thought he was staying here because he was in too much pain to come out recording?" I say, looking at Josh. "Thats what I thought" A massive bang echoed through the house, coming out of JJ's room. "I think we should give him some time alone, If he's angry there's no getting through to him till he's calm" I say, as much as I want to be there for him, we all know that it's safer to let him have his own space. I walk up the stairs and head to my room, I shut the door behind me and sit on my gaming chair, I get up my video, almost finished and ready to upload. I finish the last 5 minutes of the video and proceed it to be uploaded, I get up twitter on my phone "Video up on the second channel in a few minutes" I tweet. I hear my door click and swing around in my chair to see JJ. "Oh my god Jide" I rush up to him and wrap his cold body in a hug. I break the embrace and hold his head up to me, tears flooding down his cheeks. JJ was never one to show anyone emotion, the fact he was right in front of me bawling his eyes out told me something was really wrong. I wipe away his tears, feeling a bump underneath his right eye. It felt swollen, I knew he didn't have it before which meant it happened some point today. I didn't want to bombard him with questions, he needed to be calmed down. I look back into his eyes. It was like the night we found him, except it wasn't physical pain, it was emotional. "JJ listen to me, I'm here for you, you don't need to hide yourself from me, I love you for you and I always will" Tears start to fall more frequently. "I'm sorry" he says, making eye contact with me. "For what?" I ask. A long pause following after. "Why am I only good enough for you?" he says, his breathing getting heavier. "Come sit down with me" I take his hand as I walk over to my bed, he sits against the backboard and I sit in front of him. I cup my hands around his face and hold it up  to mine "If any one doesn't see your worth everything then they don't realise what they've lost, you turn everything bad more bearable, everything funny even funnier. You are the reason I'm thankful for life, because without you I don't know what I'd do" I place a kiss on his lips as he looks back up into my eyes. A faint smile grows on his face "I love you so much Si, you have no idea".