Just A Random Story

chapter 6

~Kendra's pov~

It's been a week since he vanished. A week of unanswered calls, the familiar ring of his phone now a haunting echo that never reaches its destination. The silence has grown unbearable, a suffocating blanket wrapped tightly around me. Elise and Ruby keep asking where he went, their innocent eyes wide with worry, and each time they do, guilt gnaws at my insides like a ravenous beast. I don't know what to say anymore. I can't even muster a proper lie.

"Lilly said she saw him with another woman." The words echo in my head, an insidious refrain that refuses to fade. But Lilly doesn't know. She can't. He would never leave us. Never leave me. He promised, didn't he? We talked about it before, those quiet moments filled with laughter and dreams. He said he loved this family, loved me, more than her.

But what if he lied? What if, in that fleeting moment of truth, he meant it, but then seeing her again... No. I shake the thought away, like swatting at a persistent fly. There's no proof she ever showed up. A thousand things could have happened to him, and they spiral in my mind like a tornado of despair. Maybe he got into an accident, hit by a truck, and someone panicked—took him to a hospital far out of town. Or maybe... maybe they left him in a ditch, bleeding and alone. Or worse—maybe they killed him.

I can't breathe. My heart races, pounding against my ribs as my thoughts tumble into a dark abyss of "what ifs." I sit on the couch, staring at my empty glass of wine, the cool edge of it a fleeting comfort against my fingertips. Without thinking, I reach for the bottle beside me, but it's empty too.

Of course, it is.

"Mommy?" The tiny voice cuts through the fog of my thoughts, yanking me back to the dimly lit room. I blink, focusing on Elise, standing there with her pale face framed by the soft glow of the hallway light.

"Mommy? Are you okay?"

I try to smile, but it feels hollow, like a mask too heavy to wear. I force myself to stand, wobbling slightly as I make my way to the kitchen. The cabinets mock me with their silence—there's no more wine. No more anything. I sigh and return to the couch, empty-handed. "I'll get more tomorrow," I mutter under my breath, a half-hearted promise to myself.

"Mommy, I'm worried about you."

Her voice is soft, filled with a concern that cuts deeper than any knife. I glance at her—my little Elise. She looks so much like him. His eyes, his expressions—all reflected in her delicate features. Ruby, at least, inherited most of my traits, but Elise... Elise is a painful reminder of what I've lost.

"Go back to bed, sweetie. We have a big day tomorrow."

She lingers for a moment, her eyes searching mine, wanting to say something more. But she doesn't. Instead, she turns and heads upstairs, her footsteps barely a whisper against the creaky floor.

I sink back into the couch, feeling the crushing weight of emptiness wrap around me like a shroud. The TV flickers on to some random channel, voices murmuring about family and love—sickening, idyllic nonsense that twists like a knife in my gut. I close my eyes, trying to picture him holding me, his arms encircling me, whispering, "I have to go to work, but I'll be home soon."

I wake with a start. The TV is still on, its hollow drone filling the room with the blandness of life I can't grasp. A mindless show about perfect families and perfect lives. I scoff, the bitterness rising in my throat. I turn it off, plunging the room into a stillness that feels colder than before.

Two months. It's been two months since he disappeared, and I don't know what to believe anymore. The police keep telling me, You can't find someone who doesn't want to be found. Their words scrape at the fragile hope I've been clinging to, tearing it apart thread by thread. They say it like he left—like he chose to walk away from me, from our kids.

But he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't leave us. Would he?

Doubt twists inside me, gnawing at the edges of my thoughts. Maybe... maybe he would. Maybe he left because he didn't care about us. Maybe... maybe I just wasn't enough.

Lilly keeps checking in, asking how I'm holding up. I tell her I'm fine, but I'm good at pretending. I don't need him. And he doesn't need me. I can do this. Alone.

"Mom?"

The sound of my daughters' voices grates against my ears like nails on a chalkboard. I just want to be left alone. Why can't they see that?

"Mom, are you driving us to school?"

I glance at them from the corner of my eye, their small figures standing in the doorway, watching me with looks I can't quite read. I know what they're thinking. I can feel it. They blame me. They think it's my fault that their father left—that he abandoned them. They have no idea what I've been through. What I'm still going through.

"Mom, we need to—"

Why won't they just stop talking? My patience snaps like a brittle thread. "What do you want?" My voice is sharper than I intended, a blade of frustration cutting through the morning haze. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

I raise the nearly empty bottle of vodka in my hand, the liquid swirling like a tempest at the bottom. My throat burns as I take another swig, feeling it warm me from the inside out. Elise looks at me with wide, accusing eyes, and Ruby... Ruby just stares, her expression unreadable.

The TV is still off, but the silence is deafening. I can feel their eyes on me—judging, questioning. I don't need this.

"What the fuck are you staring at?"

The words spill out before I can stop them, louder than I meant, harsh and venomous. The girls flinch, and without another word, they rush out the door, their small footsteps fading into the early morning light.

And I'm alone again. Alone with the echoes of my own voice, the blank TV screen, and the sinking, inescapable feeling that maybe... maybe I've already lost everything that mattered.