First Love

[TW: Violence]

It had been four days since Lisa had received any notes from Yoongi.

Four agonizing days.

At first, she almost had herself believing that she'd easily forget about him, that she was just attached to him simply because he was the first person she talked to in seven years.

But after checking on her front door for the eleventh time since his last visit, she came to realize that she actually missed the strange boy. 

She missed the warm feelings he'd give her whenever they wrote to each other, the genuine concern in his words and his persistence, that she once thought to be annoying. Now, she just misses him and wishes they could go back to the way they were before. 

Lisa couldn't believe it herself.

She was actually wanting, no, craving for human interaction.

It didn't mean to say that she'd suddenly start running outside her apartment and hug every single person on the streets, no. But she was beginning to think that maybe, interacting with somebody won't hurt.

That somebody specifically being Yoongi.

But he hadn't visited her for days, and she was starting to worry that he might just never come back for her. She wanted to say sorry for hurting his feelings. He had been going out of his way to visit her and give her company, and even then she outright refused to actually give him some credit and pushed him away.

She wanted  to apologize for what she did.

She wanted to talk with him, this time without the pen and paper.

Possibly, without the door between them.

She just wanted him back.

-

-

Lisa peeked through the gap between her black, heavy curtains, her hazel eyes watching as reddish brown leaves danced in the wind outside her window. A long line of trees decorated the side of the road below her, their gorgeous color signalling autumn's arrival. 

She gazed at the people wearing thick coats and gloves, their cheeks rosy from the cold air, playing around with their friends and family.

And for a moment, she imagined herself among them.

It had been a while since she last tried to look outside her window, and she couldn't believe how much she actually missed it. The outside world had always been scary to her, and had always looked gray and dull in her eyes.

For the first time in a while, she had this nagging urge to pull her curtains aside and when she did, she found herself marveling at the sight.

But still, she refused to even entertain the idea of stepping outside her door. No matter how beautiful the outside world was, she knew how cruel people could be. She couldn't let them hurt her anymore. 

Her fingers gently flipped through the bundles of notes she had received from Yoongi, gaining some sort of comfort from them. She would look out the window from time to time, then her eyes would dart back to the papers, reminiscing their old conversations.

There was one paper though that completely took her attention from the window and had her thinking.

"What are you so afraid of?" 

It was a question she never answered. She didn't know before if she felt comfortable sharing it with anybody, and Yoongi never really pushed her after that. But if he were to ask her again, she would definitely answer him this time.