Return II

Chapter 17

Taryn's POV

I have not been home in two weeks and I haven't gotten any sleep for days. The knowledge of my daughter's approaching death constantly runs through my mind and tells me what a horrible mother I am.

If Natalie were awake right now, she'd be screaming at me and telling me how wrong I am for doing this, but luckily, I have the other kids to do that for me.

I sit in Natalie's hospital room, sharing her last day with Katherine, Joseph, Michael and Paris. It makes me upset that the boys do not want to be here with us, but they had the choice, and they chose not to come.

I'm just hoping they will be here tomorrow.

Sitting in this room full of silence forces me to reminisce. The only sound that echoes through the room is Natalie's heart rate monitor and it reminds me of the bridge of Michael's song "Morphine."

Relax
This won't hurt you
Before I put it in
Close your eyes and count to ten
Don't cry
I won't convert you
There's no need to dismay
Close your eyes and drift away

Demerol
Demerol
Oh God he's taking Demerol
Demerol
Demerol
Oh God he's taking Demerol

He's tried
Hard to convince her
To be over what he had
Today he wants it twice as bad
Don't cry
I won't resent you
Yesterday you had his trust
Today he's taking twice as much

Demerol
Demerol
Oh God he's taking Demerol
Hee-hee-hee
Demerol
Demerol
Oh my Oh God it's Demerol ...

I do not notice that I am softly singing the lyrics until I hear Michael's voice joining me. I sniffle and he keeps his eyes on Natalie. He knows that I'm looking at him, and he continues singing even after I stop.

My ex-husband's talents have never ceased to amaze me. Either live or recorded, he sounded and looked the same, no matter where he was or what he was doing. I have always admired him; always loved his voice. I remember when we were married, I would always ask him to sing me to sleep. And whenever I was showering and he was in the bathroom getting ready, I would shut my music off and ask him to sing, and he always would.

He always did things like that for me. He was a great husband, father and friend. I was upset when we had to divorce.

Neither of us wanted to split, but due to his busy schedule and my need for normal routine, it just didn't work out. I still love him, though, and always will. And I know he feels the same about me.

Michael I's relationship was not just any normal one. I'm sure the wives or husband's of other celebrities could say the same thing, but it was different with Michael and me. He would cancel shows and meet and greets if I wasn't feeling well, just to take care of me. He would show me off to the public and he would take me places—anywhere I wanted to go. No matter how much the press would surround us and annoy us—trying to catch the slightest glimpse of me (and my pregnant belly at the time) he would ignore them and try his best to just focus on me. And for that, I admired him, and to this day, I still do. I always will.

When everyone else was busy commenting on, and criticizing Michael for the person he is and physical appearances such as his face, I paid attention to nothing but his actions. He has the best personality and the biggest heart ever imaginable.

He was a great husband, and an even better father. 

Father.

Words cannot explain his love for his kids. I would not have wanted to have Blanket and Natalie with any other man. Even the man that I made Natalie believe was her father.

The memory of the fight I had had with my daughter about her finding out that Blanket is her brother flashes and I slap my forehead. Why, or even how did I think I could keep such a thing from her? I should have known that her and Blanket were going to find each other one way or another. 

"I'm so sorry, baby." I whisper. Michael turns to me. I look at him moments after and he stands, then slowly walks over to me. He takes a seat next to me and wraps his long arms around my shoulders. He rests his head against mine and sniffles. I do the same and try to hold back anymore tears.

"At least she can rest peacefully knowing the truth." I cry and Michael nods. "Thank you." He whispers back. He pulls away from me and swallows. He clears his throat before speaking.

"It must have been hard for you both when the truth came out, and I know that you tried. You both were so brave." Michael says and I open my mouth to object, but close it immediately. He's right. He is always right. He always knows what to say, and when and how to say it. He is rarely ever wrong.

I slowly nod and lean back into his chest. He wraps his arms around me once again and kisses the top of my head. Even though we are no longer together, he still treats me like a princess.