DISCLAIMER: PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO ABOVE BEFORE READING! It's funny as shit. Have fun, motherfuckers. Also, I'm aware that I didn't do the trolltags or handled, it's just easier for me to write names and not do it in online message form. 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐈 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩, 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭, 𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐨𝐬. 𝙄 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙏𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙯𝙞'𝙨 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙧𝙠. 𝙄'𝙢 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙡𝙖𝙯𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙑𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙠𝙖'𝙨, 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮.
𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕
"𝐈'𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐈𝐓." 𝐈 𝐲𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞.
"𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧, 𝐊𝐊, 𝐥𝐨𝐨2𝐞𝐧 𝐮𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 2𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨 2𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐮2 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞." 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫. 𝐇𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐭. "𝐍𝐎. 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐀𝐘 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐒. 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄, 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐄-𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐒𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐔𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒." 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐱 𝐠𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐝, 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲.
"𝐎𝐡, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐢𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲. 𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐳𝐢𝐢'2 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐯𝐞. 𝐖𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐯𝐞, 𝐢𝐢2 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?" 𝐈 𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐩𝐞𝐝. "𝐅-... 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔. 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐆𝐎." 𝐈 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩.
"𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐃." 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.
"𝙊𝙆𝘼𝙔. 𝙄'𝙇𝙇 𝙂𝙊." 𝙎𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙆𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙙. "𝙃𝙚'2 𝙞𝙞𝙣!" Sollux 𝙮𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙, 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙙 𝙤𝙛 his 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙩 his 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 him. 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙.
"𝙏𝙝𝙄𝙨 𝙎𝙝𝙄𝙩 𝙄𝙨 𝙂𝙤𝙉𝙣𝘼 𝙗𝙀 𝙗𝙄𝙩𝘾𝙝'𝙎 𝙩𝙄𝙩𝙎. 𝙩𝙊𝙩𝘼𝙡𝙇𝙮 𝙒𝙞𝘾𝙠𝙀𝙙, 𝘽𝙧𝙤𝙏𝙝𝙀𝙧." 𝙎𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙂𝙖𝙢𝙯𝙚𝙚. 𝙔𝙚𝙨, 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮, 𝙖 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚!
"𝙒𝙖𝙞𝙩. 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙀𝙭𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙄𝙨 𝙆𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙖𝙩 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙒𝙝𝙤 𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙈𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙀𝙭𝙘𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚."
𝙉𝙤 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙧𝙠𝙨 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙛𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙮 𝙢𝙮 𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 🤘🤠🏳️🌈
"Obviously, Kanaya, we're getting him drunk as Roxy." Sollux said. "Hey!" She said, almost toppling over. Everyone shot her a look, just like obviously, Roxy, calm your tits. You're the drunk one and you know it. "And how will we manage to do that?" Questioned Rose, genuinely confused. She knows Karkat would never willingly do something to make a fool out of himself for no apparent reason.
"Well, Rosey Posey, I'm drunk off my mind right now." Sollux said, patting Gamzee on the back, who stared at him lazily. Kanaya sized him up slowly.
"And how he did it was... actually silly as shit! He made cupcakes, right? And he told me to test the first batch and I was all like, "agh, sure dude, anything for a friend, brother" and then I ate one and now I'm feeling so good. I just want Karkat to feel that too, y'know? He's such an angry little guy."
And then something remarkable happened, apparently everyone in the room collectively joined Kanaya.
"But KN, we're gonna day you made them. He'll eat them then. He trusts you. Off to plan the party. Away, army!" Sollux said, aiming to leave. He extended his arm out in front of him and started marching out the door. Once he loudly closed it, he cackled outside the door and there was a loud yelp and CRACK!
Tavros winced. Vriska snickered.
YOU ARE READING
Gamzee Spiked The Punch {Homestuck Ship Shit}
Randomyou know what, I'm not putting an age on this. you do you. warnings aren't stopping your ass, I know from experience. but if you aren't comfy cozy with drugs, shmexy things, nono words, and the r slur (yes, it's a slur that shouldn't be used in any...
