On My Own | Hale - TVD/TO/TW [4]

27 | Never Ask You to Go

Lighting strikes as she gets out of her car, the rain slipping down her body. The water coats her in a cold embrace as she makes her way into the tall building she was in only hours before.

She walks up the stairs slowly, each step just another weight on her shoulders. She knows he can hear her, and yet she continues. By the time she reaches the top, she almost considers turning back.

She hesitates before she knocks. He does not answer. She walks in anyway.

"Normally, when someone doesn't answer, it means they want to be left alone," Derek says as he sits on his couch, watching Lexi as she closes the door behind her. Water drips from her hair as she turns to him.

"You think I want to be here?" She asks. Rain pours down the windows as Lexi steps down to his level and crosses her arms. "They wouldn't let me see Isaac," she says. "Family only."

"Why not compel them?" He gets up from the couch so he towers over her, his back hunching over. "You are a vampire, after all."

"Compulsion takes a lot out of me these days," she admits as she purses her lips. "I did not come here to fight—"

"Then why are you here?" He demands. Stepping away from her, he looks out over the city. The Nogitsune is out there somewhere while he is sitting here, waiting and hoping like an idiot of her to return. "Why'd you come back?"

She shakes her head. "I was not planning on it—"

"And yet, here you are."

Lexi sighs as her shoulders slump. "I just needed to grab something from my old apartment. Something I left there for safekeeping. Something only I could get." He frowns. "Nothing you need to worry about," she says quickly. "Simply a means of protection for when I return to Mystic Falls."

"Going back?" He arches an eyebrow. "After everything?"

"It is my birthplace." She shrugs. "It is where my siblings are buried. And it is unfortunately where the rest of my family has decided to settle." He watches her closely as she shifts her weight. "And no one loves you like family, right?" She meets his gaze. "After...what happened, they are all I have left. So, I just wanted to grab what I needed and disappear again."

He clenches his jaw. "Then, why are you still here?"

"The Nogitsune is my responsibility." She slides her hands into her pocket to avoid clenching them into fists. "I will stay until it is gone. Then, I will leave if that is what you want."

"You almost killed Cora."

"But I couldn't," Lexi replies, realizing it was not the right thing to say a moment too late.

"But you tried to." Derek steps towards her with his eyes glowing blue. "You are dangerous, Lexi. Everyone around you dies."

"You don't think I know that?" A strand of her hair falls in front of her face. "Everyone I have ever cared for has either betrayed me or died. I get to live with that for the rest of my pathetic immortal life. So, tell me what you want, Derek. Do you want me to explain myself? Let you scream and curse at me? Do you want me to die, because believe me, I've been trying."

His hard exterior cracks. "What do you mean?" He asks softly.

Lexi bites the inside of her cheek as she takes a step away. "Every time I close my eyes, I see them," she whispers. "I see their faces, and I hear their screams. It's like the hunter's curse all over again, but there is no magic cure for this. I made a monumental, colossal mistake, Derek, and I do not know how to atone for that. I simply want an end."

Grief slips into his expression. "Lexi..."

"This should not be news to you." Lexi's heartbeat rises as she stumbles away from him. "You heard what I said. You know my hell of a life. I mean, all I want is..." Her eyes flicker to him; she decides against lying. "All I want is for you to be happy, and I am so sorry that I destroyed that. You have no idea how much I regret it. I think about it every day."