On his knees, looking up, can't stop crying
-
He curled out of his ball on the floor
He couldn't believe his eyes. Is this what he had become. He couldn't believe he had let this lifestyle consume him so deeply. The man he was staring at in the mirror couldn't possibly be him. He had long hair and he looked dirty. Old clothes with a few tears in them. And he hadn't shaved in weeks
He wanted to cry at the sight.
Who else did he have to turn to.
Who else did he have to listen.
He knew
"God I know we haven't talked in a long time
but this time I really need you.
Please God help me, say something
just give me a sign,
because now I'm falling apart and
I don't think that I can do it.
Please God, give me the strength
to pull through it.
Tell me, Should I give up? I could end it all right now.
I just don't know if I'm brave enough to do it.
'Cause there's gotta be a better way than suicide.
Try to wait it out, give it time, you'll be fine.
But it's been so long and I still haven't been able to get rid of all the thoughts that I feel inside.
So sick, so angry, so mad
and to top it off no one even knows that"
He stopped that's when he realized. Why was he putting himself through all the trouble. All the constant back and forth of drugs. Smoking and snorting unknown substances
He was in a zone where nothing matter. He just wanted to be numb. He didn't want to be able to feel the pain anymore and what better way then to get rid of it all.
It took away all the pain.
He then realized he was just a dead man walking. A dead man breathing
He didn't know why he had let it go on for that long when he could of prevented this a long time ago years ago.
No one cared about him
His mum was never there
His stepdad was an absolute fucking asshole
And who even knew where his brother was or what he was doing. Probably locked up in jail again
He could be with his dad. They could be laughing about something right now. Making jokes about his mothers poor choice in men. going for a drive along the back roads again
He was all by himself
All alone
And he knew just what to do
__
I have a new book called spaces if you want to read it :) spaces. || {h.s au}
Fuck I love the new album so much!
S p a c e s between u s (get it?)
YOU ARE READING
Ashton. | {a.i au}
Short Story'In which a boy runs out of things to believe in" 'Yeah I hope that you all feel guilty, Because I'm broken now and you can't heal me, But don't hold your breath because I ain't ever coming back, Sincerely yours Ashton.' © Copyright All Rights Rese...
