Papa Scorch once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and actually got one. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Papa Scorch. What came first? The chicken or the egg...?
Papa Scorch came first.
When Papa Scorch falls in water, Papa Scorch doesn't get wet...
Water gets Papa Scorched.
Papa Scorch is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. There is no theory of evolution, only the creatures Papa Scorch has allowed to live. Papa Scorch doesn't actually kill anything...
The other pilots and titans kill themselves out of fear of Papa Scorch.
Papa Scorch sleeps with a night light. Not because Papa Scorch is afraid of the dark...
But the dark is afraid of Papa Scorch.
Papa Scorch once visited the Virgin Islands...
They are now called "The Islands".
Papa Scorch doesn't wear a watch, he simply decides what time it is. If you google Papa Scorch getting his ass kicked...
You will generate zero results.
when Papa Scorch does a push-up, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the earth down. When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Papa Scorch. Papa Scorch once died...
He's fine now.
Papa Scorch destroyed the periodic table. He only recognizes the element of surprise. Papa Scorch once dug a hole with a spoon...
It's also known as The Grand Canyon.
The flu has to get the Papa Scorch shot once a year. Papa Scorch can unscramble eggs. Papa Scorch doesn't blow out the candles on his birthday cake...
He suffocates them with the weight of his stare.
Trained by Papa Scorch, Grandmaster Jedi Yoda was. Papa Scorch will never have a heart attack. His heart is not nearly foolish enough to attack him. Papa Scorch doesn't take showers, he takes bloodbaths.
While learning CPR, Papa Scorch brought the dummy back to life. Papa Scorch can bake a cake in the freezer. Papa Scorch once spent the night in a haunted house...
The house is no longer haunted.
When Papa Scorch stares at the sun, the sun is the one that blinks. Papa Scorch once threw a grenade and killed 6 titans...
THEN the grenade exploded.
They once found Papa Scorch's diary...
It is now known as the Guiness Book of World Records.
In high school Papa Scorch's teachers had to raise their hand to talk to HIM. Papa Scorch uses hot sauce as eye drops. Papa Scorch once pissed in the gas tank of a semi as a prank...
That semi is now known as Optimus Prime.
Papa Scorch once took a lie detector test...
The machine confessed everything.
Papa Scorch can make fire by rubbing two ice cubes together. When Papa Scorch was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
There is no right. There is no wrong. There is only...
Papa Scorch
YOU ARE READING
Titanfall male reader x fem! creepypasta
Fanfiction(Y/N) is a soldier in the militia, son of the legendary Captain Lastimosa, veteran of the Titan Wars. Before his training is complete however, he sees his father die in his arms to save (Y/N)s life. In his dying breath, Lastimosa gives control of hi...
