Once Upon A Time

Happiness

"Ma'am, ma'am kung tatanungin ka po, what is happiness?"saad ng estudyante kong labis kong ipinagtaka. Hindi naman kasi siya nagsasalita sa loob ng klase. Napakatahimik, walang kaibigan, at kung magsasalita man siya mahaba na ang limang salita.

Tinapik ko ang balikat niya at umupo sa tabi niya.

"Alam mo Ella, for me happiness is a choice. Ikaw naman kasi ang pumipili kong gugustuhin mo bang maging masaya o hindi ehh," saad ko sa kanya.

"Bakit po kahit mag isa ka happy ka pa rin? What I mean po diba 34 na kayo? Ba't di ka po nag asawa? Does being alone happy?" Tinawanan ko siya at ginulo ang buhok niya.

"Ikaw ha? Pinapaalala mo sa'kin ang pagiging single blessedness ko, " nginitian ko siya at nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita.

"Choice ko rin to, this is my kind of happiness. I am already married to my job Ella and I'm happy for my chosen profession.  I am happy teaching and I'm happy kung nakikita ko ang mga estudyante Kong nagsisikap para matuto." She hugged me tight saying how much she thanked me. A tear escaped from my eyes.

"Goodbye ma'am and thank you." She kissed my cheeks and headed home.

Masaya nga ba ako? Maybe yes, maybe not. Again, happiness is a choice. Pero nadidiktahan mo ba ang puso mo para maging masaya?

That day I got home late. Pagkauwi ko sinalubong ako ng tatlo Kong aso na siyang tangi ko lamang kasama sa malaking bahay. I hugged them dahil sila lang ang nakakawala ng stress ko araw araw.

"Buti nalang talaga at nahabilin ko kay Melanie na pakainin kayo. Do you miss me my babies?"tanong ko sa kanila,as if sasagot sila. They wagged their tail and Sky licked my cheeks na ikinatawa ko.

"Sky! Ang landi mo ha?" Sunod naman sa pagdila sina Light at Dark expressing how they missed me.

"Oo na!  I miss you too." I hugged the three of them. They're the light on my darkest night. Sila ang nagpapalakas ng loob ko to keep on going.

Habang nakatitig ako sa litrato niya sa dingding ay unti unti na namang bumabalik ang sakit.

It's been years na pala na wala siya. Sa mismong 5th death anniversary niya pa talaga napiling magtanong ni Ella kung ano ang happiness. I got home late for I need a drink. I need to forget. Gago lang? It's not my choice na mag isa ako ngayon. It's His will. He chose to get the most precious person I have and accepting that he left forever is too hard.

Ikaw ba naman pangakoan ng kasal? We were bound to marry that day, after my graduation. Ready na lahat, may bahay na kami at regular na siya sa trabaho,  marriage nalang ang kulang. Everything was perfect until shit happened. He died on the way to the wedding. It was a perfect beach wedding, saying vows while the sun is setting down was so perfect. Perfect na sana kung dumating sana ang groom but he didn't. Sad?  Yeah truth hurts, but reality is a bitch.

I finished a veterinary course but I decided to pursue education for the second time around for this is his dream job for me. I want him to be proud. I want him to see me teaching children whom he adore so much. I love him, but he left. I didn't marry him, but I married his dream profession for me and this is my happiness for he is my happiness.

END