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d y s m o r p h i a

this is based off someone from tumblr :) creds to them for the inspiration!

eddie has always been small- compact, if you will, but he always secretly liked being that way. being able to fit in people's (richie's) arms so well, and finding the tiniest of spots during hide and seek. but one day after he got into high school, sometime after puberty hit, something changed in him. eddie got taller and thicker and he wasn't enjoying it, feeling as though he took up too much space.

he kept these thoughts to himself, like he did most things, but his friends began to notice eventually. he wouldn't sit on bill's shoulders to play chicken anymore and he wouldn't let stan give him piggy back rides. before he started seeing himself this way, eddie would borrow bev's cute sweaters, but now he refuses because he's convinced he would stretch them out. he won't ride on the back of mike's bike when they venture off around town.

richie especially notices when eddie wouldn't let him wrap his arms around his waist anymore. at first, richie thought that he was trying to slowly distance himself, trying to slip away. he was so hurt when eddie refused to cuddle or change in front of him. richie goes to bev, which is obviously one of his best friends.

"i just feel like he doesn't love me, ya know? he won't let me touch him, like, ever," richie explained with pain in his voice.

"richie, can't you see it? it's not you, it's him. he feels bad about himself, he has body dysmorphia." of course she had to explain what that term meant, but then it all comes together in the ole trashmouth's head.

"you're godsend, marsh. what would i do without you?"

"crash and burn."

so he goes to eddie, not knowing if he should just straight up confront him or wait until eddie says something himself, but that's obviously never going to happen, so plan b.

they're chilling in richie's room, doing homework. richie puts his math book down and starts kissing eddie's neck.

"rich, stop. i have work to do." eddie nudged him away, so richie started to play with his hair. "seriously, richie, you're distracting me."

"you're so beautiful, eds. i love you so much."

"shut up, trashmouth. don't call me that." eddie rolled his eyes and kept working on his math homework.

richie started to slowly move his hands around eddie's shoulders and then slipping them under his sweater."i mean it, babe. you're just so beautiful, i can't believe i wasted all that time being your friend when i could've been-"

"beep fucking beep richie! i don't want to play right now!"

richie raised up, "why won't you let me touch you, eddie?"

eddie had to pinch his nose, "for god's sake, i have work to do."

"i don't mean just now, i mean ever. we don't hug, or cuddle, or makeout. we haven't been together in weeks!"

"that's what you're fucking worried about? that i'm not having sex with you?"

richie rubbed his face out of frustration, "no you stupid idiot, i'm worried that you're gonna start hurting yourself because you think you're fat!"

"what're you even talking about?" eddie froze, his face heating up.

richie sighed and moved closer to his boyfriend, "i'm not stupid eds. you've been wearing baggy clothes and you only ever eat green shit, and you won't even let me see you without a shirt on. for some reason you hate yourself and that's fucking ridiculous because you're probably the most attractive, perfect person i've ever met."

eddie doesn't know what to say because he never thought that richie would find out. he just sits there, speechless and embarrassed.

"i love you eddie. you. the way you are. i love your floppy hair and your sparkly eyes. your adorable freckles and your beautiful tan skin. i love how you can be kind of squishy in the middle, i love your arms and your legs. dear god eddie, your ass is literally out of this world."

eddie laughs through his tears, rubbing them from his puffy red eyes.

"i don't want you to change, i don't want you to disappear," richie whispers as he caresses eddie's cheek.

eddie gives him a bittersweet smile and takes richie's dorky face into his tiny hands and kisses the tip of his nose. "i'm not going to go anywhere. i love you, trashmouth."

i love you too, eddie spaghetti."

-

hi i'm crying now
i hope you enjoyed this chapter, this book was too wholesome and happy for my liking :) we needed some angst

i'm also sorry for it being so late!
vote if you liked it :) make sure to comment what you think!

i love you all so much!

love,
brooke ♥️

word count: 804