The Boy with the Light Blue Backpack- A Niam Fanfiction

Chapter 11

Playing with the pages of his book, Liam can feel his fingers trembling slightly.

One of his hands is warm, and the other is icy cold, and Liam feels like that exactly describes how he feels inside.

He's confused.

Reading is all he's been trying to do in the past hour, but he hasn't read a word yet.

His eyes are just staring at the page, watching the black ink and the thin paper.

Liam had thought that buying a book for in the train would make him calm down, but it's only making him more nervous.

Everything that he does makes him nervous.

With every single movement he makes, he thinks about how it would be described on paper, written down, printed out, black ink on white sheets.

What if his thoughts are controlled?

Can he even be his own person, or is he just this character, made up in someone else's head?

His future.

All Liam can think about is his future.

Erin and Niall and countries and... love?

Liam can't handle it.

He really can't.

But he needs to keep his promise to Laura, he needs to save a life of a real person.

Not just a character, a thought, a name.

A real person.

A person with thoughts of his own, with quirks, with friends and family and people who make him happy.

A person with sadness, with a past, with a life ahead of him.

A death ahead of him.

Liam shakes his head, taking a deep breath and turning to look out of the window.

The landscapes are again rushing by, but this time he doesn't seem to care about the grass or trees or houses.

All he sees is colours blurring through each other, like wet paint.

They don't turn into shapes, but instead mix more, until there's nothing left of their actual form.

It's sunny outside.

The sky is perfectly blue, no cloud to be seen, and it's warm enough to take off your jacket.

Liam rather wants rain right now.

Rain dribbling down the window in the shape of thick drops, washing Liam's thoughts and feelings away.

Maybe the rain could wash the streets and landscapes until they're fresh and clean, giving Liam a chance to start his own story.

Not live one that's already written out in detail.

Closing his book harshly, Liam bites the inside of his cheek, so hard that it starts feeling numb after a while.

It's all still too confusing to him.

The way Laura called him, and how she read his life out loud, like it was just a simple line of a book.

It is.

It is a simple line of a book.

Liam squeezes his eyes closed and tightly clutches the book in his hands, feeling the smooth cover with his thumb.

He needs a breath.

"I'm sorry but, this seat isn't taken, right?"

Liam looks up, seeing that the train has stopped in a station, and that people are getting inside, including the old man who's standing next to Liam's seat, smiling lightly.