Paano Aaminin?

Libra

If all things will be weighed, I know I will never be enough that's why I am glad I am her bestfriend first before I realise there's more

Everyone is quiet. Nagdadrive si tito katabi si tita. Tahimik naman kaming lahat sa likod. Nagchecheck lang ako ng email.  Nang matapos, I look at Shar na tulala sa bintana.

"The mornings so much brighter, the evenings are forever" pagkanta ko ng lyrics. Tumingin naman siya sakin at malamlam na ngumiti.

"Muka kang nasa music video" she grinned. Not even bothering to say a word.

Shar's parents decided to bring us back to where it all started. Bulacan. Halatang pinag iisipan niya ng maigi yung naging away nila ni Ricci.

Mga ilang araw din akong hindi nagtanong. I am playing safe kaya kina tita ko kumakapit. Noong nakaraang tumatambay ako sa unit niya, sila hinahanap ko para naman may kakampi ako at hindi ako palayasin ni leklek.

I feel she needs a little bit more room. Mantakin mo nga naman. Pag bata ka, walang masyadong problema. Walang masyadong iniisip. Pag naging teenager it's all about self discovery . We all start to wonder about love life, communication and choosing peers pati yata existencial crisis kung saan everyone's asking where do they belong or if they are enough.

Most teens manage to pass this stage with flying colours and I am happy I am one of them kaso, hindi lahat. Yung iba they choose to declare life as 'game over. Yun na yung nagmamatter at kalaunan nagkakaron ng problem.

Choices are choices. If you make the wrong one, syempre may consequence.

Later on, young adult to adulthood adulthood stage. Halu-halo na, trabaho, pamilya tapos kung tatanga tanga ka pa sa naging choices way back then you'll be like me.

Stuck staring at the girl you love. I never imagined myself watching her suffer. Well partly kase busy ako sa pagdiscover ko sa mga kaya kong gawin noon. I had a masters degree in consoling people and persuading them, I mean it's business psychology pero lahat nagiging zero pagdating sa kanya.

I stayed quiet hanggang sa makarating kami sa Bulacan. I never said a word until she ask me a question.

"Nabigla lang ba ko? Am I being unfair kase hindi ko kayang ibigay yung sarili ko kahit na magtetrenta na ko?"

"No" ideally. The answer should be no pero lalaki ko. We all have needs and urges so Ricci isn't really that bad however this is Sharlene we are talking about.

"If a guy loves you he will respect your decisions. Kahit gaano ka pa nakakalibog tignan, we will look at you with love not lust"

She smiled. "Siguro dapat na kong makipagbati. Maybe a little bit more? Baka wala pa talaga sa plano niyang magpakasal? Iba iba naman ang journey natin diba? Yung iba nga they only find the right one at the age of 50 tapos they happily get married"

"And some marry after 3 months of dating" ayokong makita si Shar umasa.

Here's a guy's logic. Everyone thinks we can only marry after we are stable o kaya naman nagawa na namin lahat ng kalokohan.

But sa case nilang dalawa okay naman na. May sarili na nga silang unit. Tig isa pa. Kung gusto nilang magtayo ng sariling bahay they have all the resources pero ayaw pa rin ni Rivero.

He is not ready to settle down kase hindi siya sigurado sa sarili niya. I dont want Shar to suffer from indecisiveness kagaya ng sa akin. Ang excuse ko lang naman I am not as knowledgeable  as I am now.

Mahal ko si Shar at kung pababayaan ko siya kay Ricci para ko ng sinabing okay lang saking maghintay siya sa wala.

Naupo kami sa basketball court kung saan madalas kami maglaro noon. Funny walang pinagbago.