Give it up Sis, we all been there!

Day 1: i want a deadpool for the new year!

i'm trying to get myself to start appreciating mornings. it's the start to a new day, a new opportunity. my alarm just turned on, blaring the purge alarm like i'm about ready to go out to battle. it sure feels like it. it's so hard to get out of bed in the morning, my only motivation is that this isn't high school anymore i'm 19 years old, and unfortunately being, i have to make money to live. it's sad that at only 19 my major issue is money. why can't i have normal people problems. am i getting enough iron? why did my coworker say that insensitive comment about my nose? but this is.. wow 2020 as of 4 and a half hours ago. the problem with today is that at the percentage of teens in debt entering into 2020 stresses me out. how am i supposed to appreciate another lovely day chilling on an orb in space, when all i'm worried about is if i can by with a quarter tank of gas when i get paid on friday and it's monday. why are we focused on surviving and not living? in high school my bestfriend would call me a cockroach. she would say "S, you're like a cockroach, you can survive anywhere and live off anything". i'm sorry i don't want to be a cockroach, or a surviving. i want to live. why does it have to cost to live? nobody gets a free ride, i'm not bias. i simply am tired of working. and it's only just begun. but i want to take one thing from this, almost a lesson. if you want something, go for it. nobody is telling you who to be or what to do with you life. you only get so many opportunities, they will run out. don't miss out on the memories. take that job in a different field, move to a different state. that includes loving the mornings as well. meditation is a refreshing way to energize the body and start clean minded, also yoga is great to feel physically empowered. drink lots of water (i don't do this enough). do one thing that makes you feel good. sing your heart out, do a good deed. this world needs more positive people to infect others into feeling their joy as well. not forced of course, but a small gesture like a smile or holding the door open for someone. i wonder if some people actually realize how quickly time moves. a decade has went past. 10 whole years have been sucked out of thin air and magically appeared only to give me the finger and ditch. tomorrow is never a guaranteed set deal of rainbows and lollipops oh no. i will never promise you that you will have a good day, i'm sorry. if you were hoping for that.. yikes. i will always wish you to have a good day, because no matter what you make your life in the most unique form you can, it's yours. i think one of my all time favorite lessons/movie quote would have been in the first Deadpool when he found out he had cancer. wade was obviously upset, but he understood that not everyday can be a commercial break of happiness and success. sooner or later, you always gotta be back to your same of regularly scheduled program of misery and bullshit. then of course you add in the mutant farm they created with Mr. Dishsoap aka. i might as well change my name to captain dickhead. i smell a reckoning approaching for my good old pals over at the Xavier Institute. it will only be a matter of time until Deadpool will be called into the line of duty standing with our knock off XMEN force and then everyone will see it was a terrible idea for him to join such an amateur group of highly trained teens. we should have went to the avengers, then maybe someone could one up him on the insults. jokes aside, i want to in vision good vibes and tranquility as you and i adventure into the next decade. i don't want you to be sad, because we are almost there. i am so proud you made it. i know you have tried really hard in the past years, trust me. it's been a whirlwind. you deserve an award. we've lost. we've hurt. we've broke to nothing.

🖤THOUGHTS FOR AN OPEN GYPSY🖤

i want you to write down 5 things that have really hurt you these past years. something that made you feel personally sad, hurt, angry, anxious, or just make you feel not too good.
now look at all 5 of those things, and decide which ones you want to put in order from bad-worse
PLEASE BE CAREFUL PARTICIPATING IN THE NEXT STEP IF YOU ARE NOT OF APPROPRIATE AGE TO USE A LIGHTER.        (i was at 10, please be better than me)
burn each paper 1 by 1 and watch the flames catch to the paper, obsorb the relief and breathe in sink with the flames. this will help let go of any bad thoughts on the situation. feel the flames burn through the pain and all of the memories that will eventually be forgotten. if the flames gets too big, you can also burn out the paper and watch the smoke. use the same breathing technique, just follow the smoke.