Wrong Direction

Falling in the Wrong Direction

I stare up at the ceiling, my vision blurred by my tears. I hear a knock at the door, but I don't answer it; I only clutch the pillow against my chest tighter. "Hope," Landon's words run through my mind. "Hope, I'm sorry...Hope, it was a one time thing...Hope...Hope...Hope..."

"Hope," the voice in my mind turns into reality, the masculine tone turning feminine. "Hope, please open the door."

I want to tell her to go away. I want to scream, to throw things, to go off the deep end now that I have a perfectly good reason to. But I don't. I can't. My body feels like lead from my sorrow.

"Josie left dinner out here," Lizzie continues, her voice still pleading for me to let her in. "It's probably getting cold."

I don't want it, I think, but I know she can't hear me. I just don't have the energy to actually speak.

This isn't the first time Lizzie has come by today. It's not the second, either. The blonde has tried to get me to open up to her three times today, and Josie has tried twice which surprised me seeing as we still aren't close again after the whole Landon drama.

Landon. The name makes my chest ache. My eyes burn with fresh tears.

"Hope," Lizzie tries once more, now sounding defeated.

I hear a soft thud against the door, most likely my best friend resting her head against the dark oak surface. I can almost imagine her hands pressed against it, as if pushing on the door will somehow make me open it.

I turn over onto my side, curling up into a fetal position. My eyes focus on the alarm clock on my nightstand, it's 7:53pm. I close my eyes, praying for sleep to take over, but I know my attempts are futile. I've been sleeping all day, so despite my exhaustion due to my depression, I'm not actually tired.

"I'll come back tomorrow," I hear Lizzie promise, then her footsteps echo down the hall, away from my room as she heads back to her own.

I think about the dinner Josie left by my door around 6:30 and my stomach growls, but my appetite is gone. It has been for the past 24 hours, ever since...

I flip onto my back once more, heaving a frustrated sigh. I'm Hope Mikaelson, I shouldn't be moping around like this. I should be out there, dressed nice without a hair out of place, showing the phoenix that I don't need him - showing him that I'm better off without him. But instead I'm holed up in my room, not even leaving for meals. Josie left me lunch and dinner, but I didn't touch either one.

I chase all negative thoughts away, focusing on evening out my breathing, hoping it will help me sleep. And after a while, it does.

I wake up to a soft knocking on my door. I bite back a groan, tired of people checking on me; it's usually the twins, but Rafael came by once, and even Alaric tried to get me to let him in. I know they're just trying to make sure I'm okay, but I really just want to be left alone.

"Hope?" a gentle voice calls.

My eyelids flutter open. It's the one person I've even contemplated opening the door for, and each time she comes by my restraint breaks down a little more. I sit up as she continues. "You haven't eaten dinner, and you didn't eat lunch either. You need to eat, Hope."

My fingers clench around the edge of the bed. There's so much concern in her voice. That's the thing about Josie: she cares too much, often putting others above herself.

"Please just let me in," the witch begs, her voice just as defeated as her sister's was earlier. The only difference is, Josie's defeated voice gets to me.

I sigh heavily as I push myself off of my bed for the first time all day, then slowly make my way to the door. I place my hand against it, imagining the brunette's hand on the other side, debating whether I really want to do this or not. But after she mutters another small "Hope, please," I cave.