Oliver was Josh's first everything. His first lover.
Oliver knocked on the door quickly. He kept gulping from time to time, trying to keep the tears in. He chewed on his lip, hands trembling. He inhaled sharply.
"Hey- what's wrong?" Josh asked as soon as he saw Oliver's face. His smile slipped away. Oliver walked in, arms crossing. His eyes went everywhere on the ground, tight around his body. Oliver took another deep breath. Josh felt saddened. He closed the door. "Was it your parents again?" He asked softly.
Oliver nodded quickly.
"Oh, baby," Josh mumbled, walking up to him. He wrapped his arms around Oliver tightly. Oliver let his own arms loose. He sighed.
"They were being fucking pricks again," Oliver muttered. "My cousin came out yesterday and they kept fucking..." He gestured vaguely with his hands. Josh understood. He had been understanding since Oliver realized he wasn't straight. Josh exhaled. "I can't even imagine how it'll be when I come out." Josh shook his head.
"You won't," he said. "Not until it's safe. When you move out of there." And Oliver nodded.
"I know, I know. I'm already saving up. You know I've been getting more shifts." Josh knew. Time was really tight with his boyfriend. Which is why he took the freedom of getting a job as well. He would let Oliver know soon enough.
"Let's cuddle," Josh said. He pulled away from the hug, taking Oliver upstairs to his room. Oliver laid on the bed, Josh cuddling up to him. He unpaused the movie he was watching. Josh had his head resting on Oliver's chest, fingers drawing soft patterns on his chest. Oliver kept his hand moving on his back and hair, moving slowly up and down. Josh sighed and hummed. Neither was focused on the movie.
(Warning: smut. Bottom!Josh. You can skip if you want, it doesn't change anything in the story. *shies away bc I feel awkward for writing this*)
"Olls?" Josh called quietly. Oliver hummed lazily questioning. Josh took a hesitant breath. He propped himself on his elbows, making Oliver's hands fall from his back and he opened his eyes to stare up at Josh. Josh bit his lip. "I love you."
He stared straight into Oliver's eyes. It was honest, anyone could see. He meant it. Oliver felt his heart stop aching. He smiled a small smile.
"I love you," Oliver said back. No 'too' because he felt like saying it made it feel like he was saying out of obligation. He never once said it back out of obligation. Josh beamed. Oliver felt warm once again. Josh leaned up, lips touching Oliver's sweetly. Oliver kissed him back just as lovingly.
Josh put his other arm beside Oliver's head, upper body touching Oliver's. He felt nervous all over. Oliver put his hands on Josh's sides, gently moving them on his skin over his shirt. The bottle with lubricant on the drawer taunted Josh. He exhaled and pulled away from the kiss. He licked his lips.
"I... I want to show you." Josh said quietly. Oliver furrowed his eyebrows confusedly.
"Show me what, love?" Oliver kept moving his hand on Josh's sides gently. Josh swallowed, gaze flickering down before going back to Oliver's eyes.
"How much I love you." He said. He was determined by then. His heart was crazy on his chest. Oliver seemed even more confused. He let out a small chuckle.
