A Beautiful Masquerade

5

Darkness, it's all I see. Doesn't matter if I turn left or right, it's all darkness. I hear that sickening laugh again, it feels so close but I know it's still far. I'll never forget it, a deep and menacing sound which scares me but upsets me further. I'm upset for not being able to do anything and upset that I'm so afraid of it. I'm Yesna Dawood Rehman damn it, the  Troublemaker. I'm not afraid of anything and yet I can't help but feel this hopeless fear. I know firsthand what the owner of this terrifying laugh is capable of doing but I want to believe I can fight, fight against this person and fight against this fear that wants to consume me and destroy me of everything I have.

I begin to panic; I can't find a way out. Like always, when I feel like there's no way out I see a small flame of hope flicker, and like a moth I run to it. But then again, as always when I see a small glimmer of hope I never get to it. No matter how hard or how fast I run to it, I never seem to be able to get close to it, and instead it dances farther out of my reach. The worst part, the laugh gets louder and closer. I'm desperate now, I know have to do something, anything but there's nothing. I'm absolutely and completely hopeless.

"Run sweetheart, run and hide, but do understand that I'll find you and when I do......" He leaves the sentence hanging, knowing full well that I understand what is going to happen. I hate that voice and that laugh. I never saw the face but I could never forget the voice, the laugh and everything else about the person. The evil that radiates off that person in waves and the eyes, the eyes are cold, evil and dead. This person is always in the darkness, in the shadows and in my nightmares. I've seen the eyes and heard the voice but the person is like the darkness himself. Only showing himself to enjoy my fear. I truly wish I had never come across this person, ever.

By now I'm sure I look like a wild animal look for an escape. The flame isn't getting any closer and the blinding darkness isn't helping me. I want to scream and yell, yell for help and yell for someone to save me. I open my mouth but no sound comes out, I know damn well that I'm screaming with every bit of my being and every bit of my soul that I have left but nothing, no sound, no help, and no savior. I realize at this moment, I'm all alone.

I wake up with a jolt, my mouth in a "o" shape screaming however just like in my dream, no sound. I'm sweating and realize I've been tossing and turning in my bed. My blanket's on the floor and my body is all sweaty like I've ran a marathon. I feel my forehead and it's hot but I'm freezing. I look towards Sara on the other side of the room, she's sleeping and it's still dark outside. I look over to my alarm clock and its 3:27a.m. I stay in bed trying to calm myself down and knowing it's going to be impossible to fall back asleep I decide to take a shower.

It's a good thing my screams are silent whenever I have these nightmares or it would be difficult explaining to everyone the reason for my nightmares. Yes, it's not the first time I had this dream and I'm sure it won't be the last either. Of course the healthy thing to do would be to tell my parents and get some help but these aren't just nightmares, they're facts and a constant reminder of what has happened.

I look at myself in the bathroom mirror. My hair looks like a bird's nest, my face looks pale and my eyes, my normal brown eyes, they're empty.

I strip my clothes and as I'm about to jump in the shower, I see the scars on my body. I trace a few and before my thoughts could take me somewhere I don't want to be, I jump under the water.

The hot water soothes and relaxes my tense muscles. I use my rose scented shampoo and condition my hair.

I quickly grab something comfortable to wear and walk downstairs to the kitchen. Sara was still sleeping; her face was peaceful and serene. I remembered what I had planned and knew that there was no going back. I would protect her and everyone else, even if it meant having them hate me.