Tightrope

Chapter 15

Previously:

Sanem swallowed past the lump in her throat. She could tell him now. She could tell him the truth--he'd created an opening for her. But she shook her head. "No, I don't know," she said. She was very aware of crossing the line between withholding the truth and lying.

"That's too bad," Metin said. "I'd really love to see him happy."

"Me too," Sanem said. "I hope he finds her."

***

After brunch, Metin drove Sanem home in silence. Metin looked at her and wondered what she was thinking. She was deep in thought, he could see that. He felt like she was hiding something from him, but he had no idea what. He wondered if she'd seen him talking to Deren yesterday. He mentally berated himself for getting so close to her while everyone was there watching. He knew Sanem's friends saw him, and they already didn't trust him. Can was right; if he wanted Sanem, he'd have to stop going after other women. But it was his nature; he didn't think he could help it. Before Sanem, he'd never been in a relationship before. He wanted to be faithful to her, but sometimes the temptation was too much.

He also knew there was a lot going on in her life since they returned from London, and she had a lot on her mind--including his proposal. Her change in behavior seemed to have started that night. He should have waited; it was too soon for him to have proposed. He really messed up. He just hoped she could forget about it and they could go back to the way they were before. He missed her. He missed her talking to him about everything, and the way she'd get excited and smile up at him. He missed kissing her, her quiet sighs and her small hands on the back of his neck; he missed holding her in his arms, moving his hands over her warm, soft body. He loved women, but he loved her the most. He realized that since the night of the party, every time he tried to kiss her, she avoided him. He had to apologize to her for proposing and ruining what they had. He wanted his girl back.

Sanem couldn't stop replaying her conversation with Metin in her mind. She was being so unfair to him. She knew he was starting to get suspicious about her behavior. How much longer could she avoid his touch? His kiss? Before they left London, they were always affectionate with each other. It took a long time for her to accept his affection, but when she finally did, she found she enjoyed the closeness. She had missed it. She still felt guilty sometimes, but she had finally started to accept that Can would never be part of her life again right before he reappeared in her life.

She should have just told Metin the truth. It would have been a hard conversation, but it would be over--he'd know and she wouldn't have to try to stay away from Can anymore.

Not that she'd been successful in staying away from Can. She sighed heavily and rubbed her temple with two fingers.

"Are you okay?" Metin asked.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just feel a headache coming on," she said in an attempt to deflect questions.

"I'm sorry, love. Do you need anything? Can I get anything for you before I drop you off? We're almost there." His concern for her was genuine, and her guilt intensified.

She turned to look at him and gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you, Metin. I'll be okay."

Metin turned onto the road that led to Mihriban's estate, and Sanem was relieved that she wouldn't have to continue the act. He came to a stop right in front of her father's house, and he got out of the car to open the door for her.

She took his hand and got out of the car, and he pulled her into a hug. "I miss you, sevgilim."

She tightened her arms around him and rested her head against his chest. "I miss you, too," she said, and she meant it. She hated the situation she was in; she hated what she was doing to Metin and to Can.