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The Catholic Church knows the truth about Hell, but the documents are buried dee

The document that I’m about to leak has been highly guarded for centuries, and contains sensitive information regarding the Catholic Church’s knowledge about life after death. It is written by a Byzantium priest named Quintus Aurelius, who was charged by the Roman Emperor Constantine in the year 335 A.D. to discover (through experimentation) what information he could about Heaven and Hell. Sensing his rapidly approaching death, the ailing Constantine wanted to know if his faith in God had been well placed. Given this urgency, he ordered the local order of priests to uncover the truth about the afterlife using any means necessary.

What follows is Father Aurelius’ account of his experiment.

The document has been meticulously translated from its original Latin for readability.

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The results of my experiment must never be shared with the public. Their minds are too feeble to comprehend such hard truths; I fear that the Church’s reputation would be tarnished. Our hold on the peasants is weak enough as it is. The last thing we need is for that vile mass of ignorance and superstition to go running back to the pagan gods that we have only so recently deterred them from worshiping.

But I digress.

Following my meeting with Emperor Constantine, I returned to my alchemy lab to begin my experiment. My goal was simple: to concoct a liquid that upon consumption first stopped the heart, then re-animated it minutes later. By creating this “death simulation,” as it has now been aptly labeled, my hope was that participants would ascend to Heaven while their hearts rested in suspended animation, and then come crashing back to Earth the moment their hearts resumed their normal rhythms. Upon awakening they would be able to share their experiences of the afterlife, and hopefully prove the existence of Heaven once and for all.

If I would’ve known then how much my experiment would test my faith, I might’ve given pause. As it stands, I didn’t think twice about the myriad of results my experiment might bring, and began to develop my potion with fervor.

Much to my delight, I devised the means of creating this potion by the end of the week; and, after meticulously testing its efficacy on field mice, was ready to begin human trials.

So I packed my bags, prepared my cart, and traveled to Petra—a secluded village deep in the countryside—to begin my experiment.

The people of Petra are meek and pious. God himself couldn’t select better test subjects. Hence, word of my arrival quickly spread, and soon I was swarmed in the village square by families begging to be blessed.

Although I wanted to jump right into my experiment, I obliged these requests and blessed every dirt-smeared soul that supplicated them self before me. Foregoing the blessings would’ve been rude. The Petrans are a superstitious people; they would’ve taken my refusal as a sign of God’s anger, and fallen into panic.

Once the blessings were complete, I ascended a nearby podium and addressed the gathered families, who gazed up at me as if I were Saint Peter himself.

“People of Petra,” I began, “I come to you bearing a marvelous gift. At the request of the Emperor, I have developed a means of gazing upon the opulent splendor of Heaven. By drinking the concoction that I have packed inside my cart, your soul will be elevated to the Pearly Gates for several precious minutes, before easing back down to Earth baring spiritual knowledge thought previously to be beyond human discernment.” I paused as excited murmurs echoed throughout the crowd. “Rejoice, for you are the only town that the Emperor has deemed fit to partake in such a holy pilgrimage. The piety and goodness of Petra is known throughout the empire—no other city is better deserving of God’s grace. So step up while time remains, and consume the drink that Jesus Christ himself would’ve bestowed upon his disciples.”