r/nosleep | Reddit Horror Stories • Collection

My Psycho Girlfriend Decapitated Me, The Afterlife Ain't What I Expected...

As in it ain't the fuckin' place I ended up going! What a fuckin' EVENT I have been having the displeasure of going through. And it is still ongoing. Lemme just rant it out for ya sick horror-seeking cunts.

Now, this all started three weeks ago. Here I am expecting the bowels of hell where my sin-loving ass rightfully gonna end up, instead I get some teen kid eyeing me up like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Boy'd probably try to take a handful of my naughty bits too, had I not kicked the pervy fuck in the 'nads. Kid crumpled to the ground, yowling something fierce.

My head just got done rolling across the floor of some restaurant, and I wake up to this shit? The place I was in was seedier than a back alley massage parlor too. I think it was supposed to be some abandoned warehouse. Shelves coated in rust, vermin scurry and shittin' all-round, and a ceiling covered with holes.

I shot up off the ground to my feet in a second, towering over that kid.

"Gettin' ready to cop a feel, eh, freak!" The boy stumbled back, cradling his babymaker like a newborn. I had right mind to give 'em another blow before some unkempt trench coat wearin' motherfucker came over.

"What the hell's going on?" Trenchcoat asks.

"Little creep was perving on me. You with 'em?" I shot that homeless-looking mug the stink-eye.

"I wasn't gonna do anything!" The kid cried out.

"Yeah yeah, you ain't the first lecherous fuck to say that to me." What an eye roll of an excuse, just upset he got caught.

"No, I just met him here. None of us know each other here. If you come with me, I can introduce you to everyone."

"How about instead I fuck off outta this drug den?" I wasn't gonna be caught staying in this place. Last thing I need’s some junkie to jump me from the shadows, tryin' to stab me for meth money.

"That won't work…" I heard Trenchcoat say, not giving a shit I just flipped him off and continued on to the front doors of the warehouse. Coming up to this set of big ol' double doors, I tried to slide one of 'em open. No lock in sight, could even see some light poking in from the crack between the doors. Fucker. Didn't. Even. Budge. Felt like I may as well been tryin' to pull the sword from the stone. And ya girl was found wanting...

"I could have saved you the effort. You should come meet everyone else, we're trying to figure out what's going on." Trenchcoat was right behind me.

"I'll just call someone then." I reached into my pocket and sighed. Of course, my phone was gone, just vanished without a trace.

"You coming now or not?"

Looks like it was time to go introduce myself to the class, god I fuckin' hate meeting new people. As we were going back through the warehouse, I took another look at where I woke up. There was this blood red pentagram scrawled on the concrete. Even had some Latin writing circling 'round it. Not that I could read that dead language…still some real freaky occult shit nonetheless.

We came to the rest of the miserable shits stuck here, all hanging by this statue of this shirtless goat-headed furry sittin' on a black altar. Gotta say the statue was not to my taste, but shit was crafted by a master cause the detail on it was ridiculous. Looked pretty much like a real dude. Just with a goat head…and furry goat legs…A couple of big, sleek black raven wings…and I ain't confident of this, so don't hold me to it, but I think it had a dick in that fur. Fucker had a bitchin' beach bod though, who knew goatmen could be so jacked?

"Welcome, we just did introductions, but hopefully everyone doesn't mind reintroducing themselves. We can just go around in a circle." Trenchcoat said, grabbing the attention of the group of people loitering around the statue.