the new kid - stozier -

- chapter 15 -

* Stans POV *
WARNING ⚠️ SELF HARM

( credit to RattyQueen_79 for the idea for this chapter because I had no inspiration !! :D )

I walk home from Richie's house after taking a shower and think about what happened with Bill.

Why does he want to date me so much? He even said himself that nobody loves me. Maybe he wants somebody to manipulate again since Jane and I have left him. I sigh.

I walk in through my front door and lock it.

Slowly, I walk up to the bathroom and sit on the closed toilet seat. I just stare at a lonely razor sitting on the bathtub.

I resist the urge to grab it.

I wonder what it feels like. To self harm.
Does it really help? Does it hurt as bad as my current problems? I wish I could find out.

Maybe that doesn't have to be a wish anymore. It's right in front of me.. But.. what would Richie say?..

I could just wear my hoodie. He wouldn't see my arms. This thought keeps me at peace and I stand up and grab it.

I slowly slice it across my arm in a swift motion. It's sharp and cold against my skin. It hurts so bad. It's making my arm sting. But I love it. It's amazing.

I continue with more on the same arm and move on to the other arm. Blood slowly drips from my arm on to the cold tiled floor and silent tears fall down my face yet my mouth remains in the shape of a small smile.

The smile fades after I finish. I wash the razor and clear the blood away. I hide it in one the cupboards. My parents most likely would not notice and even they did see it, they wouldn't think it's out of the ordinary.

My dad has tons more. That one was just one of his many. He won't miss it.

I decide to take another shower. 
( NOT a bath we don't want a disaster happening again after his last one)

- iN ThE ShOwEr -

I sit beneath the flowing water as the blood drains slowly in the drain. The cold water soaked my hair and I want to drown myself in it.

I'm not cut out for life. Nobody said it would be this hard. Nobody told me I would be abnormal because of my sexuality and that I would feel out of place. Nobody told me that I would have a boyfriend who would leave scars on me mentally and physically. Nobody told me he would call me things that would stick to me like glue and that I would never forget.

Nobody told me I would come to hate myself because of those simple words. Nobody told me that in just a few weeks I'm going to lose someone close to me. (shhh ;)

Nobody told me the only reason I'm alive is because of a certain boy with black messy hair and huge glasses covering his eyes.

I would be gone if it wasn't for him.

I turn the running shower off and slowly stand up.

(Blah Blah he dries himself and gets dressed fun yay)

I lay in my empty bed and stare at the ceiling.

- Richie's POV -

I resist the urge to text Stan in fear of annoying him. I wonder what he's doing right now. I don't want to seem obsessed so I won't ask.

I slowly walk downstairs and eAT. I eat some SpAgHeTti 🍝

Okay this is the end of this chapter. Sorry that's it's so short. :) enjoy<3