The Sound of Serendipity

been tryin' hard not to get into trouble but i i've got a war in my mind

Stupid pink.

Stupid pink.

Stupid rosebud fucking pink.

She called me again the next day. And the next. And everytime the phone rang is was this awful, blackish-green color that matched the bruises on my knees. The pain of a ballpoint fucking pen being stabbed into my chest repeatedly. With each ring that echoed through the little apartment, that stupid pen was being removed and plunged further than before. I could almost hear her voice, her taunting giggle. I could almost feel her lips hovering over mine teasingly. I could almost smell her, the mix of her perfume, cigarettes, and shampoo. It hurt tremendously.

Ray had since learned to not pick up the phone when her number flashed on the caller ID, but the riging was still so haunting and knowing. It knew I was hiding from her. It knew I was too beat to even listen to her voice.

That day I had to go to another support group meeting, even though we never did anything different. My therapist was making me. I cringed everytime I thought about sitting in that room, and talking about my feelings with around thirty other people. I don't want to deal with my feelings by myself, let alone lead a group discussion about them. It was hell.

I put on a random pair of pants and a shirt from off the floor. No time for laundry. They didn't smell too bad anyway. Ray watched as I turned the coffee pot on and got my mug out.

"Why don't you just skip it?" he asked with a mouth full of ramen.

"Doctor's orders," I returned groggily. "Why don't you actually go to class today instead of sitting on your lazy, fat ass?"

"Doctor's orders," he smirked.

"Whatever," I said, pouring my coffee. "Stop putting cheap vodka in the coffee creamer. I hate drinking it black."

"Then don't man," he laughed. "Ain't nothing wrong with a little buzz."

I scowled and scoffed at him. What a complete ass.

"Goddamn Ray," I said, "you're wasting our creamer and our vodka. Just because you're my friend doesn't mean you can lie around drunk all day and make everything in here smell like weed."

He shrugged, giggling into his cup-o-noodles. I rolled my eyes and chugged down my coffee before slipping my earbuds in and leaving.

When I arrived everyone was already seated and talking. Goddamn it Ray, your fucking hazelnut ambrosia monstrosity of a coffee creamer made me late. I couldn't just slide in without being disruptive. Great.

"Morning Frank!" Patrick said cheerfully in his smooth yellow voice as I walked over to the circle. "We've got a seat for you right here."

He gestured to the empty seat between a middle aged woman and a young man. The purple boy, I remembered. Gerard.

Oh shit.

I gulped in sand nervously tittered over to the empty chair, careful not to touch either of my new neighbors. Purple Gerard glanced at me, then quickly back to Patrick. I felt my face grow hot.

"And now let's talk about coping mechanisms," Patrick smiled brightly. "What helps you to feel okay?"

Everyone went around in the circle. Most people said things like using colored pens when writing, drinking tea, watching their favorite movies. Things like that. When it was my turn, I rose and talked about listening to a song. Pretty normal.

Next was Gerard's turn. He stood, leaving his ass within a foot of my face.

Lord of all things fucking holy, I thought, give me strength.

Give me strength in this time of need.

I made my eyes stay looking at things from his hips up as he said, "I just close my eyes for ten seconds and tell myself it's not really happening to me."

It was so sad he could never get away from his weakness. At least I had my headphones. He had nothing but solitary confinement.

He sat back in his chair, his thigh brushing mine momentarily.

Mother of god. Stop.

I took a few deep breaths in as I continued to ignore him. I placed my elbows on my knees and leaned forward, letting my head rest in my hands. More dull uneventful support group.

After a few minutes, Gerard leaned into the same position as me, literally a few inches from my face. I glanced at him to see he was already looking at me. I quickly looked away, clearly embarrassed. He nudged me gently. I looked back at him wearily.

He raised his eyebrows at me expectantly. Blush creeped over my ears, filtering through the skin of my face.

"You're a shy one aren't you?" He whispered in a breathy voice.
His voice, the raspiness, the quiet, left his usual velvety purple a wine-stained maroon. His breath trickled down my neck, making my hair stand in end. He gave me shivers.

I nodded quickly and turned away.

"You don't have to be," he continued, a smirk in his voice. "I don't bite."

"Sorry," I replied quietly.

"Why?"

"Hm?" I asked nervously. My palms were getting all clammy. How the hell do you talk to a purple voice? It almost was worse when it was wine-colored.

"Why are you sorry?" He whispered. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Oh," I sighed. "Um... Well, I don't know. Sorry."

"You say that too much."

My chest grew tight. Calm down Frank, I thought. There isn't any reason to panic. You're overreacting.

The meeting ended shortly and I was in a hurry to leave. Just as I was sliding my bag over my shoulder, Gerard tapped on my shoulder.

"Sorry to bother you," he said, "but could I borrow your phone? I need to text my brother to pick me up."

I nodded wordlessly and handed him my phone. I plugged my ears without thinking, and waited for him to finish. My fellow group members still weren't great about being quiet. A minute or two later he handed me my phone back and smiled.

"Thanks," he said, a white grin lighting his face.

"Yeah," I muttered, plugging my headphones in. As he walked away carelessly, I noticed the rectangular protrusion coming from his back pocket. A phone? That didn't make sense. If he had a phone, why did he need mine?

I unlocked it and was on my contacts page. A new contact had appeared in my list. 'Gerard (:'.
Oh.

I turned my music on and walked to my bus stop, confused and a bit happy.

A/N

Hey yeah it's been a long time and I'm an awful person gr8

Okay so I have lots of stress with finals an a super important orchestra concert coming up, not to mention all the projects teachers like to pile on students during finals week for some reason!!!

Winter break is coming up soon so there should be more frequent updatage soon. Sorry for the wait! :(

Thanks for reading!
-maddie