The 55th Hunger Games

Part 3 - Chapter 21

As soon as this realisation comes to me I shut down, tormented by the feelings waring themselves inside me. I can't really be in love with Aponi. Not after knowing her for such a short time. Had I met Aponi under different circumstances, I may feel very differently. Right now, I am afraid and alone, starving for the comfort of my family. My feelings aren't real. It must only be... admiration, which I feel for her. Admiration for her kindness and strength.

But how could admiration make my heart race whenever Aponi smiles at me?

I certainly can't speak to her about these strange feelings. It would not only be embarrassing, but unnecessarily cruel if she feels the same. There is no way this will end happily.

When the sky eventually lightens enough, we squeeze back through the hole in the rocks and out into the open. The snow seems to have all but melted now. Barely a patch of it can be seen. We walk together down to a narrow creek which snakes its way through the rocks. It is very shallow and was probably only created by the melting snow running down from the higher rocky mountains.

We could find a better one inside the forest, but neither of us want to risk travelling further from our cave, and my throat is hurting me too much to go much further anyway. Aponi wanted me to stay inside the cave, but I did not want her to go alone. She didn't put up much of an argument at this, but I suppose she knew I would bring myself along anyway, even if she tried to stop me.

We sit down on the rocks by the stream and quickly fill our water bag and add the purifier. The sun feels nice on my back, warming my jacket and seeping through soothingly onto my skin. I want to stay out here for longer. I have no desire to return to our enclosed, frozen cave, but it is not safe to stay out here. At any moment, a tribute could come along and it would be the end of us. But still, I do not want to move.

I lean back against the rock and begin to watch Aponi in the light as she washes her now bear arms down in the stream. Water droplets glisten on her skin when the sun hits it, making her sparkle a little. As I watch her, I try to imagine that there is no arena. That there are no tributes or predators after our blood. I let myself feel foolishly happy for a good few minutes before the reality of our situation zooms back into my mind. I curse my foolishness. It doesn't matter what feelings I have for her. I can't let them change anything.

I rush over to the stream and splash chilled water onto my face, which effectively banishes my hazy thoughts. I strip off my jacket too and wash my arms and hair.

By the time I have finished cleansing myself of the past nine days of grime, my skin is bright pink and rippling with goose-bumps. I pull my jacket back on and so does Aponi. We take a drink from the water bag and head back to the cave.

I feel saddened to step back inside the cold dark cave away from the warm sunlight, but I am left with no choice. If we stay out here someone will see us, and we can't let that happen. Aponi seems hesitant to leave the sun too.

"Don't worry," I assure her. "When it's nightfall we can try to light a fire."

It would be too risky to light a fire during daylight. The smoke would rise through our small cave hole and we will be seen. I feel sure Sapphire will be on the hunt now if she is uninjured. Who she will be hunting for first, we cannot know for sure. I suppose Samantha is her biggest competition, so the chances are that she will be Sapphire's first target.

Back securely inside our small cave, we enjoy more of the food Aponi collected from the feast. Or rather, Aponi enjoys it, and I struggle against the pain in my throat to swallow it. My throat is becoming increasingly worse. Typical that we finally have good food and I can't even enjoy it!