The 55th Hunger Games

Chapter 30

        I am shocked into stillness for the remainder of the recap. I do not even cry. Maybe I was not there in person to see Samantha die, but it certainly feels like I was. I feel dreadful. I try my best to tune out to the few scenes with Aponi and I in them. I do not watch Aponi get stabbed, or my moment with Mahamari up the tree, which they took particularly good coverage of.

        It turns out I had not needed to worry about watching Aponi die again. My last moments with Aponi had been almost entirely edited out, including the song.

        When the recap comes to its conclusion I stand very numbly as President Snow takes to the stage carrying the Victor's crown. He places the thin band on my forehead and I try not to take into my nostrils his sickly sweet scent.

        The sponsor's banquet after the reaping exhausts me. So many smiling faces fight one another to shake my hand and congratulate me on my victory. They introduce themselves proudly, but I doubt that one of their names will fix permanently in my mind. It kills me to keep the fake smile on my face and pretend to act interested in the people I am speaking to.

        When I finally arrive back on the seventh floor of the training centre I am sick with both exhaustion and sadness. I head straight to my room and lie down in bed. I know I must face the cameras tomorrow, but despite my tiredness, I do not immediately fall asleep. I lie awake remembering the recap. It is only now that I realise why they had crafted mine and Aponi's connection into something cold.

        They had thought our love as a bomb that would blow up in their faces. By presenting Aponi as the mad girl and I as her trusty carer, they could dismiss our love to the audience and excuse some of the unspeakable things we had said to one another during the games. And to the eyes of Panem, I was made to look like a fool who was slowly growing mad too. I have no doubt about it.

        Eventually I do fall asleep, and when I wake up the sun is already high in the sky. Marigold enters the room, followed by her loyal pets -my prep team- who get to work on covering up my gaunt black eyes while I try to eat a brief meal.

        Thankfully, Marigold seems to have done her worst last night. Today for the interview I am dressed in black pants and an aqua shirt made of a softer material than the other shirts Marigold had given me.

        Fiddling distractedly with Cole's bracelet, I march down the hall to the sitting room where the interview will take place.

        Cameras are being set up everywhere around the room. I spot Caesar talking animatedly to Seamus, so I head over the other side of the room and stand alone. Soon enough I am called over to take my place on the same ornate seat I had sat in for the recap last night. Caesar greets me pleasantly and shakes my hand, sitting down on a seat an angle to mine.

        A red light flashes on the camera and suddenly we are live on air to Panem. Caesar grows alive before me, greeting the audience in the same upbeat way he always does. He introduces me and begins firing questions. It feels as though I am not on camera, like I am just having an easy conversation as we talk.

        First he asks how I, as a young District 7 boy, am enjoying my sudden fame. I do not reply truthfully, because that would not score me points with the gamemakers. Instead I tell him how humbled I feel and express my gratitude to all those who had sponsored my district.

        Caesar then launches immediately into a discussion of my skills, particularly my survival skills. He complements how well I managed to find food and shelter. I handle any questions he throws at me alright until we reach the topic of Aponi.