The Mission For Love

Chapter Six: Life Without Love

What is there to live for? I'm starting to wonder what love is exactly. I'm pretty sure being in my situation isn't love. I became so fragile at heart. Tomorrow's my birthday. I can't even began to imagine what's going to happen to me tomorrow. It's been a month and a week since i've been stuck down here in half-way hell. Vladimir can't kill me, so his making me wish that I was dead. I missed my father's death anniversary, which was three weeks ago. I cried, but my tears made no difference to the situation I was in. My legs were weak, and my face who's already had been through plastic surgery looked hidious. I wanted someone to come and get me. But I was afraid of what they would say if they saw me. I haven't fully seen the outside in a long time. My skin became so pale, I became sick. 

Vladimir didn't care. He said that I betrayed him. He said I was a traitor. I was a selfish bitch for trying to leave because he had a flaw. He said that if I kept acting up he would stop feeding me. Sometimes I wonder, how i'm still alive. I had dry blood all over my clothes. I know what your thinking. Why not scream for help right? Well I tried, but Vlad's house was extremely big. Me screaming in the basement, sounded like a mouse squiking form the outside. I tried to leave when he went to work or left the house. But all the door knobs are secured. and they would chock electricity into my body, whenever my hand prints came in contact with them. He really didn't want me to leave. I'm so happy i'm irregular. I haven't had my TOM in 2 months now. Though I feel pityful. 

Maybe tomorrow is going to be different. I heard the phone ringing upstairs. Maybe its a friend calling to say happy early birthday. Speaking of friends. I could really use some right now. No one has seen me in ages and yet they worry not. I feel used. I haven't writing a story in weeks, yet my boss still satisfy without my presence. Am I a nuissance to others? It's dark in the basement. I sleap down there like an animal. I missed my bed. I didn't know what time of day it was. Because there was no windows. I only get to see the light, when Vladimir comes and opens the door to give me food. Each time he feeds me he says" you deserve what your getting." I keep my mouth close, I did so for the best of me and noone else. 

While crying at the fact that i've become pathetic, I heared someone open to the front door, I guessing it was Vladimir , but it wasn't. It was Micheal. It seems like he came to visit. Lola? he yelled. Lola, where are you? He was looking for me. Over here..I'm down here Micheal. I cried. Tears of joy i guess. He finally found me, he opened the door and I ran with the little strengh that I had. I gave him the biggest hug ever. "Oh my gosh Lola, no offense but you smell like shit. He said while laughing. He helped me out of the house, but before we could get to the front steps, there was vladimir. Where do you think your going with my girlfriend? Vladimir asked. Um, home. Micheal responded loud and proud. I was smiling my ass of. All I was thinking was I was free motherfucker. 

Vlad tried to pull me away from Micheal's hands, he said that I loved him more then someone who didn't bother to visit nor call in weeks.  Micheal was furious, he punched Vlad so hard that he went flying out the door. While he was down, Micheal took the opportunity to leave. He didn't care to find out what happened to Vlad ,wether he was dead or not. Wether his nose was broken or not. He just wanted to get me somewhere safe, I was so happy. I cried even more. I'm free. The sunlight hit my face and the vitamin D was given. It was noon and the sun was shining brighter then anything. Micheal told me in the car, that the reason he came to visit was to tell me that he was moving to another city. Somewhere that was really far. He had just made new plans for me.

He use to live in Santa rosa, but now his moving to St. Lucie. Everyone lived in the same city, but different places. I was the fartest from him and now I'm going to be closer, because his taking me with him. Micheal and Chanel are getting married and moving to another house, so Micheal bought me a house about 10 miles away from his. I was happy and couldn't be happier. Not because I was moving away from the people I hated but from past. It seems like I'm always running away form what I am afraid of. It's one of my namy talents. If anyone judges me then you try being in my shoes. It was a long drive but we arrived at the house in St. Lucie. It was huge, yet it cost so little. Happy Birthday, Micheal said to me. Thanks, but its not my birthday until tomorow. I responded with a bleeding lip.

It is tomorrow he said.  Come on inside, I want to show you around. As I saw the house I fell in love at first sight. The house was extremely big and had so many features to it. There was a pool and a great backyard. By the next day I already got use to everything. Multiple of my friends from back in middle school called and said happy birthday. It was a happy birthday indeed. I had a new house and new decorations and funitures. I was going to buy a car tomorrow. I wasn't in a hurry. I landed a job at another writing company. The FIw's worst enemy. The one they never beat, when it comes down to the best novel printed. Yep, I was working at MDC. I can't wait to start making FIW melt. Vladimir sold my latest story to FIW and they bought it. Too bad it wasn't done, the way they finished it  ruin the book. 

Serves them right. It was my birthday and I didn't have time to think about others. I didn't have a car, so I couldn't leave the house. So I open the freezer which was layered with ice cream toppings. Everything I ever loved and ate was there. I love my big brother. I was 20 years old and no longer a teenager. That was the start of something wonderful. No more boys. After convincing myself that I was starting over, someone called my phone. Someone I never expected to call. Hello, the person said on the phone. Who is this? I said. It's Adrianna, Lola how are you? Oh Gosh....um i'm fine Adrian, i'm, i'm doing goood.I said sarcasticly. That's good sweetie, happy birthday. she said loud and clear. I was touched. She remembered after all that time. 

I honesly forgot. I saw Micheal a few days ago and I asked him about you and he told me your birthday was today. He even gave me your phone nubmer. Adrian said still speaking on the phone. Well geez, did he give you my address too. Oh wait, he forgot to give you my social security number. I'll read it to you if you want. I said to her. She laughed then said, your still pretty funny Whyte.I haven't called in a long time i'm surprised you didn't wait by the phone waiting for me to call you. She said. Adrian, I have a life, i'm not going to sit and wait for you to call, i'm not your ex. I responded to her. True. She then said. "well I got to, im pretty busy there days." I spend the rest of the day eating ice cream and watching funny movies. I was done with love and love movies. Me and Love had just broken up and I wasn't crying about it. 

I'm tired of selfish boys and there ways. A few days past and well i've been good. I got myself a nice grey porch with the money I was making. Being single was life. I enjoyed everybit of freedom I had. No more boys or want-to be man knocking on my door, or asking me where i've been and who i've been with. I'm grown. It's like after being trapped in the dark for soo long, you finally get some light into your life, and that light is heaven in your eyes. I made some new friends. I go out with them very often. When they mention going to clubs and having fun, i'm always the first to say i'll be there. I didn't have a man in my life. So who cares if I went. I'm having fun. I had a sleep-over once, All we were talking about was how cute those fans of male models would feel if they knew that their favorite male model was gay.

No one is going to ruin this moment for me. I was starting a new life, a new chapter. I went to church on sundays and I found the lord. Whose been more then kind to me. He keeps me out of harms way and I repay him by giving him praise and giving to the poor almost every month. The next time I met with my Big brother I was smilling brighter then the sun. My eyes could see clearly and I was happy. He could he see that. I bump into him at the beach. He was with Chanel. I've learned more about her. We've actually gotten along. Were friends now. She's actually really nice and she so happens to me a famous poet. Which is something we sorta have in commen. As Micheal walked towards me, he waved at me and said Wow, you lood great, what happened to you? nothing, I've just living life without love. I responded then smiled even brighter.