Silence Me (Dare Me Series Book 1)

Part 34

"You come back from the war with things attached to you. It's not easy to shake that shit."

"And this is how you try?"

He looks back up at me. "I'm just trying to cope, Kat."

I nod. "I think a man who served his country deserves a better life than the one you're choosing."

"I think there's a misconception about that. Just because you do good things doesn't mean life is going to be good to you." He chuckles. "Besides, I did one bad thing and they kicked me out."

"Kicked you out?"

"Yeah. Dishonorable discharge."

"Why?"

He clears his throat and looks down again. "Same shit I'm doing now."

Jesus. This boy is a wreck. "Are you addicted?"

"No." He shakes his head, looking up at me.

I glance toward the kitchen window. I guess my way of coping was to make sure I didn't end up in that sorry ass town. I made sure to finish school and worked hard to better myself despite my bad childhood.

I didn't want to be another statistic.

Girl grows up in a broken home in a shitty town. Girl gets pregnant with some fuck-up from the same shitty town to make another broken home.

Life's tough, man, but it's how you deal with it. Gage clearly hasn't dealt with it well.

"Colby really loves you," Gage says, grabbing my attention and changing the subject. I turn my head as he leans against the door frame with a wrinkled shirt and dark jeans. "I've never seen my brother like this before. He's never been one to show his emotions. Now he's showing everything.

"We all saw him beat that guy last night. Colby has a temper. Always has, but he's been able to control it. It's like you came along and opened Pandora's box.

"A compartment where he kept all his shit. Now he's angrier, jealous. But he's also in love. He just needs to figure out how to deal with it all."

I lift my brow, thinking we both do. Neither of us has dealt with something like this before. I was too busy trying to get life right to worry about boys, and my ex Mark wasn't a good start. Colby has been too afraid of commitment. This is all new to us.

"The man's over 18 and has never had a girlfriend. It's mind-blowing, but if you know Colby then you know why." He steps into the loft and walks over to the table, grabbing his coat from the back of a chair. "Just give him some time to learn how to deal with it all. He's good at everything he does. He'll be good at this, too."

"What if we destroy each other?" I ask.

"Well, that's something you'll have to risk, I guess." He gives me a wink. "I'll see ya. I'm headed back home. Tell my brother I'll call him later."

"Okay." I smile, glad to hear he's going home and not having another night like last night. The door clicks shut, and I hear the shower turn off.

Moments later, Colby walks out with a towel around his waist. The light from the bathroom brightens the loft, but with only that and the stove light on, it's dark in here. Colby leans and turns a lamp on before walking over to his dresser. I see water river down his back as he shuts the drawer and drops his towel.

His ass is perfectly toned, as are his thighs and back muscles. I know he jogs to the gym, and punching that bag does nothing but good for my guy and his temper. But it also makes his body look insanely gorgeous.

He slides his jogging pants up after his briefs and turns to me.

I look up at his face. Tension is not a normal thing for us, but I feel it now.

"Your brother went home. Says he'll call you later."

He nods as he bites his cheek.

I'm not sure what else to say. I feel like I've said it. We need some space. He needs to check his temper.

"I'm sorry," he says after a moment passes. "I don't want to take a break from you. Hell, thinking about it fucking burns."

I swallow as he looks down, clearing his throat. "But if it's what you want, then okay." He nods, and it's obvious he's trying here.

And even though that's what I think is best, my heart splinters like wood.

Panic causes me to say something to derail this. "I don't want to break up, Colby. I just need a little while to think about things."

"You see, that's what I don't understand. What do you need to think about?"

I exhale, about to speak, but he holds his hands up.

"Don't. You know what, it's cool. I get it. Like I said, just call me if you need anything."

I shut my mouth as he walks over to the couch. He flops down and turns the TV on, and it appears our conversation is over.

I stand there for a few more moments before grabbing my coat and walking out, and as I do, I hear something smash against the wall.

And there's that temper.

I still love him to death though...

So much that silence is now my biggest fear