never enough

chapter four: truth really hurts.

It was lunch break when jared went to see victoria. VICTORIA is so busy with her gals and didnt notice jared coming around, Jared ask me to join him all the way to victoria, he said that I used to be his witness in this issue. Victoria's friends told her that jared was there.

Jared ask for Victoria's privacy

" uhm. Vic? Can I talk to you for a sec? In private?"

"Sure..." she said.

Victoria commanded her friends to leave us for a while,,

We had a beautiful conversation about this..

" so? What brings you here jared?"

" I want to talk about that pregnancy thing!"

"What?"

"Shiri, said that to me."

I am really sorry if  I go ahead in your topic.

" you said to me last night that your pregnant to jared?"

Freaky no! It hurts me! Remember shiri SACRIFICE!

" oh yeah.  And so what? I can raise my child by my own!"

" so you dont need me at all?" Jared asked vic for some reasons

" no why would I? Were over right?"

"I am here to be the child's father!"

" stay away okay? From then on, until I give birth. This child will be known for its father.  And my child's father will not be you! Instead my child's father would be , Xavier!" She shouted at as and still didnt give a second to us for a talk,

Btw. XAVIER? The school nerd? I mean, im nerd too. But xavier is more nerd than me, is it a cover up or something?

Jared and I left and he asked me to join him in the music room..

Ahhhh,,,, music room my place, this is usually my hang out place when im bored, and honestly the music room is the only witness in all times..

Good, there is no people at the music room.. quiet and peacefully. Were alone that time, jared and I have a serious conversation but he started with a cry and then,,

" are you crying? For what? Are you hurt?"

" she is pregnant! And I waste my time there checking about her!"

" and so? You cried already? Be a man jared!"

" you said she wanted me to be the father"

" she said that to me, she even try to threatened me, but im not scared"

"Are you hurt? That time?"

"Kinda of course I love you, and you will have a baby and soon will leave me!"

Okay okay,, I say I love you to him. And accidentally I forged myself to calm down and take a deepest breathe..

" you know jared, the only thing to do is prove her that you can be a father"

"But why,? She said she dont need me at all.."

"Dont you get it? She is just forcing you to leave her and that means its not really true that she dont need you!"

Stop it shiri! Why are you so sad and hurt! Dont be! Be strong your outrageous! Be strong be strong BE STRONG!

" shiri? Is it okay if I leave you? When I became a father"

NO JARED, dont leave me!

" yeah.. it depends. Of course you need to face the reality, the truth and the forbidden lies."

" your not going to miss me?"

I will definitely miss you! Dont leave me at all.. I would give you my life, just dont leave me.!

" y-yeah? Miss you a lot! But thats it! You make a mistake and its the end"

What on earth did I said? I feel more hurt when he ask me this

" WHAT IF I FORGET WHAT WE HAD? DO YOU STILL LOVE ME.?"

Shit! Okay? Do you nees to say that?? It hurts so much and it burns so deep.

" Kinda,,. Of course ill try to move on! We could be still friends you know"

This is actually a war between my conscience and my burdens, I think 20 percent of me is conscience and the rest is BURDEN. who wouldnt be hurt if you sacrifice love just for the baby? And then you will also feel pain and pressure combined deeply? Its like you already died and burn in hell! If you wish something then prove yourself that you can make it right!!!

AFTER CLASS...

the bell rings and I proceed home very quick,

I see my ate yoona lying at the sofa, and feeling like shes in pain.

I helped her first coz I also feel pain when seeing her weak.

After helping her, I asked her, a question

"Ate yoona?"

"Yes?"

"What is the feeling when the baby is kicking your belly?"

" I feel like I am pissed by a cobra, and it feels like burning in your belly"

"Like in love.. huh?"

"I think so.."

Okay. Ate  yoona is right again. It is like love... when it hurts it burns.. thank you because I have her. And she gave me advice,,,

shiri? Remember.. TRUTH REALLY HURTS