Saturday. 6:23 am
I was awaken by the rattle of the roof as the rain poured on them violently. May bagyo ba? This is a perfect weather for a Saturday.
I can see faint light falling on the window pane. The gloomy weather outside makes me want to stay in my room forever.
Hinila ko ang kumot as I lean on my side towards the window. The drizzle of rain on the window awakens the artist in me.
I am thinking of writing a poem or even just a prose. Maybe later.
I am still nailed at my bed. Tahimik rin ang bahay. It seems like tulog pa ang lahat. Ulan lang ang ingay na naririnig ko. Nostalgic.
I finally jump off my bed to reach for my phone.
Dead battery again!
I reach out for my notebook and pen instead. Let me just write a prose for this nostalgic morning.
Peru wala rin akong naisulat. Disturbed pa rin ako sa mga nangyari the last few weeks.
On the other side of me, I am thinking of Mike. Matagal na rin the last time I saw him noong nagkasalubong kmi sa corridor.
Siya kaya yung nagtext at nagsorry na sinulat sa lamp post? Impossible!
Tumitila na ang ulan--or so I thought. Nakalubog pa rin ako sa kama.
"Jen?" A faint voice called me.
"Ma?"
No answer.
Si mama ba yun? Or just a figment of my imagination?
Nakatulog na lang ako at di ko na maalala kung panaginip lang ba yung narinig ko na may tumatawag sa akin.
* * *
"Mahal mo ba siya?" Andrea's rare soft voice hinted me of the seriousness of her question.
Hindi ko rin alam anong isasagot ko kay Andrea. We have been talking over the phone for almost an hour. Pa-ulit-ulit lang ang tanong niya about sa amin ni Mike.
The heavy rain is preventing us from going outside to meet. Besides I still have school projects to do.
I really do not have clear answers why I allowed myself to be fooled by Mike. All I know was I hated him but it all changed suddenly last holiday. But after we broke up, I hated him more than ever. As if I was sober from a long night of being drunk.
"Minahal mo ba siya o mahal mo pa ba siya?" Andrea struck me with her inquisitive question again.
I am not in the mood to answer her question--or I do not really know the answer. I hate Mike ever since and I think I am still in denial of the fact that I fell in-love with him.
"What do you know about Mike?" Andrea broke my silence.
"What do you mean?"
"Other than the only son of our Dean, what do you know about him?"
I was petrified. I do not really know much about Mike because we are not from the same class.
"Bakit may kailangan ba akong malaman drey?" Napahiga ako sa kama.
"Remember the last time I asked you sa corridor kung nakita mo si Mike? Alam mo ba that was the time na na-suspend siya ng kanyang sariling ina, the Dean, for one month?" Kwento ni Andrea.
"Bago ba 'yun? Eh sa sobrang presko ng lalaking 'yan halos kamuhi-an na nga siya ng kanyang ina di ba?"
I know Mike has been so easy about his life. He is always involved in many troubles in school or even outside. He even tried spending a night at the police station twice for a petty fist fight. I am not surprised why he got suspended over and over again.
"But Jen, you must also look at the bright side of people. Alam mo ba na nambabae ang tatay niya at maghihiwalay na nga ng mama niya. Baka siguro nagkakaganyan yan siya. You should have known better kasi naging kayo."
Although na mention ni Mike sa 'kin yung mga hinanakit niya but I took them as his way para magpa-victim effect para makuha niya ako. I even thought naintindihan ko na siya but when I found out about Mikay I hate him even more. Siguro nagmana nga siya sa tatay niya.
"Yeah I know about his grudge sa tatay niya. But how come naging babaero rin siya? The very person he hates is the person he turns out to be." Madiin na sagot ko kay Andrea.
"We don't know Jen. We cannot judge a person because we do not know the feeling being on that situation."
Andrea's optimism is sometimes irrational I thought. Galit pa 'rin talaga ako sa ginawa sa akin ni Mike. I think he deserve the pain he is feeling right now.
