Jokes 101

Math Jokes

Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A: Because you can't drink and derive...
Q: Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? A: Because it had more cents.
Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? A: He worked it out with a pencil.
Q: How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole? A: Avacado's Number
Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? A: To get to the same side.
Q: How do you make seven an even number? A: Take the s out!
Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? A: It's two gross.
Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school? A: They required an orientation.
Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation? A: He works it out with a pencil.
Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? A: Because it always has lots of problems.
Q: Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle? A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!
Q: Why did I divide sin by tan? A: Just cos.
Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation? A: To Times Square.
Q: What do you call friends who love math? A: algebros
Q: What do you call a number that can't keep still? A: A roamin' numeral.
Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 9
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
Q: Why did the mutually exclusive events break up? A: They had nothing in common.
Q: How is an artificial christmas tree like the fourth root of -68? A: Neither has real roots.
Q: How do you call a one-sided nudie bar? A: A Mobius strip club.
Q: How does a math professor propose to his fiancée? A: With a polynomial ring!
Q: What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab? A: Snappy answers.
Q: Why did the two 4's skip lunch? A: They already 8 (ate)!
Q: What is the most erotic number? A: 2110593!
Q: Why? A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3. Q: What is a proof? A: One-half percent of alcohol.
Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A: A middle school math problem!
Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin.
Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean? A: Mobius Dick.
Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four
Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children? A: 'I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times...'
Q: What is the world's longest song? A: "Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall."
Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles? A: Warsaw!
Q: How do you know when you've reached your Math Professors voice-mail? A: The message is "The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again..."
Q: What is normed, complete, and yellow? A: A Bananach space...
Q: What did the mathematician's parrot say? A: A poly "no meal"
Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!
Q: What is the definition of a polar bear? A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation

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