park jimin's words about something considered as a pre-farewell by seulgi made her suddenly felt uneasy. even after a few minutes of another stroll around the river the wary feeling still lingered around like a fresh open cut.
she decided that it would be best if she go home to actually take a sleep since she hadn't really had a decent one the previous night. the lean figured threw a startled stare as if he was afraid that he destroyed the particular nice little moment they had. his eyes quivering a little as he made an eye contact with the bewildered girl.
unfortunately sorrow kicked in an inevitably large amount. it was like being crashed by a sudden wave that pushed your unprepared body without warning. fear, shock, and horror all mixed into one. just with the sudden urge to cry to top it off, but seulgi knew it wasn't actually the finest idea to do that right now.
she was the type who easily grew fond of someone if she 'click'ed with the person. it had been quite a while since seulgi ever found someone whom she felt like she can relate to. someone more of like a bigger brother who she could complain to about the littlest things that happened in her day at ease without having to worry about being misjudged or criticized. someone who resembles a warm ray of sunlight creeping slowly through the window curtains in a slow afternoon. the kind of light that shone not too bright, but in spite of its dim light, brought a soothing impact to stare and feel to after a long tiring day.
jimin's protective and gentle instincts crept its way into the deep crevices of her heart, filling her softest spots. he doesn't ask a bunch of loaded question about her day, only simple ones that looked like shallow questions, but you'll never expect how it always leads to something deeper than what it seems. it was like he was taking out the load inside her chest that she kept for the whole day without much effort. leaving her breathless at how easy it was for him to read her off. like he could see through her.
park jimin was a rare shooting star.
she felt like her prayers were all being heard when he met him. sure. they're friends. nothing more or less and seulgi promised to herself that she also wouldn't expect more than what they already had. in spite of that, her missing puzzle felt like it was found. ready to be placed in the hollow part to complete the whole picture at last.
but now here she is. watching her last puzzle piece suddenly out of grasp. maybe it was just about time where her wishing star wouldn't lit her night up anymore, it was going further, starting to dim its light like it refused to give any more hope to her prayers. park jimin wanted to say goodbye. though it was not now. but seulgi wasn't dumb to easily solve the riddle out. jimin wanted nothing more in the connection they had. he was falling out of her. not wanting to take the risk to jump and dive, afraid he'll drown.
what made seulgi felt even more disgusted of herself, is that she saw every sign as a glimmering hope. she felt so mad after misinterpreting his simply helpful and friendly side. felt so dumb that she dared to be so full of hope. she considered herself someone who wasn't destined to be a person who's prayers were meant to be answered. seulgi actually lost her interest in something called hope after countless days wishing for better days but never came.
she sat silently in the bus. chewing the insides of her mouth to restrain the big fat tears to roll down her cheeks. trying to avoid any eye contacts with park jimin so that he wouldn't see that her eyes were all glossy with tears brimming in her eyes. she fought so hard not to blink or let any single drop to roll off the corner of her eyes, she doesn't want to make jimin leave with remnants of guilt.
"are you sure you're alright? i'm.." he seemed to be trying to phrase his words correctly. "worried if you're too exhausted."
great. the goody-two-shoes park jimin. offering his politeness until he made one girl fell in to him without he even realized it.
"i'm great." seulgi managed to spit the two words that felt so hard to even pronounce. it ached even more knowing that there's a slight possibility that jimin never put much feelings to what he did for the past few weeks. all that walking her to home and accompanying her to the campus were all just in the name of darn politeness.
as the bus came into a halt after four stops, they finally reach their own destination. jimin stood up first, and took a few steps back, allowing seulgi to walk first before him. it was his own habit of letting girls to walk first before him so he could protect her if something happened.
their walk to the flat was unusually quiet. seulgi hasn't talked a bit and jimin was all too jittery to even blabber a single word. he knew something was off with her and he knew exactly what is the reason to it. but all his ideas to comfort the girl besides him just felt too heavy to say from his mouth.
there was one time their hands brushed each other's and seulgi swore she saw jimin's cheeks flushed into a light pink but she was drowned inside her pool of grieve that she didn't notice it could mean something. seulgi wasn't sharing a single eye contact with him until she reached the front door of her small compartment.
jimin wasn't going upstairs directly after bidding a goodbye in a sing sang voice like most days. seulgi could feel his heavy breathing behind her but she didn't dare to take a glance at his face or else her tears would burst in an inhuman amount. but thinking about it twice, it would be impolite of her so she decided to turn around.
she was just facing his chest when suddenly her slender body was wrapped into something comfy and at the same time incredibly warm. a scent of baby powder like perfume hit her nose in a sharper fragrant than before. it took her a solid one minute to realize that her head bumped into something hard but felt so warm and a little too comfortable.
and that's when it hits. she swore to god her heart was hammering so fast that she was scared he would hear the rapid beat of her heart. park jimin was giving her a heart attack with a sudden hug.
"i- i'm sorry.."
"please. just.. just don't think of it that way, seul. okay?"
she never heard him talk in such tone. the way someone was begging desperately. she could imagine his face pulled into one deep frown with guilt washing allover his immaculate feature.
"whatever's in your head right now.. i'm not going to blame you for that. it's my fault to blurt something out that easy." he heaved a sigh. seulgi could feel his chest rose up. his arms were still wrapped around her in a securing way, until his palms slowly crept to her head and brushed her hairs softly.
it was too much for her. he was being warm allover again. too warm, that it felt really hard to suppress the urge to cry.
"just cry, seul. it's fine, everything's alright. i'm not going to blame you for anything.. just let everything out. i'll still be right here until you finish." his warm tone sent a gush of warmth into her. he felt so full of love that it suffocates her to not let out the tears she kept. and as she cried in silent, wetting his shirt with ugly tears, jimin stood still. constantly brushing her hair gently in a soothing way, like shushing her to go drift into a sleep.
at the same time, smell of fresh earth and small ticking noises emerged from above. not too long after, thunders began to be heard and raindrops were showering the town in just a few minutes. drowning seulgi's restrained weeping. reminding both of them of the bet they're supposed to fulfill.
now please tell me. please tell me that i'm wrong for still hoping that you'd stay park jimin.
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share your thoughts here!🌿🤍
p.s im so sorry that it took me a solid one month to update this book;-; pls forgive me, i hope you still could enjoy this! love y'all deeply
-tokki
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blush hours. / seulmin
Fanfictionin which they were trapped together coincidentally under a telephone box in a rainy summer afternoon. STRDST- 2019 ㅡ슬민에게 [on hold.]