The Reason

The Breakup

Oh I'm doing my best

It don't always work

Cause I get distracted and I know it hurts.

Cause you love so easy

And you put me first

And while I have you

I'm tryna be the man you need

I'm tryna keep you next to me

Oh I'm tryna be the one you call

The one you reach for anything at all

-- Eric Nam

Namjoon looked at the note on the table. It was late when he came home. Work has been very busy the last few months and he was looking forward to spending time with her on the weekend.  He knew that he has been neglecting her and it was causing a crack in the relationship. He wanted to take her somewhere. Somewhere where he could rekindle their relationship with her to go back to how it used to be.

It was not like she didn't play a part in it as well. She has been acting really strange. Distant. It was like she was pushing him away for some reason. He would come home and she would create a fuss about working late and would throw her words so easily. Lately, she has also been very quiet. Her text messages or calls were now less frequent or on days where he actually came home early, she would go to bed right after dinner.

"She really did it," Namjoon said out loud to the empty apartment. "She fucking did it."

He slammed the note down on the table.

Namjoon,

I am sorry. I have to do this. I can't take it anymore. Please understand that it is not you. It's me. 

You should take that job in Australia. It's a good opportunity for you. 

I am sorry but I can't be there for you anymore. It's too painful.

You will always have a special place in my heart. 

Again, I am sorry. 

Love, your Angel. 

How dare she use his nickname for her in a break-up note! Namjoon tried to control his emotions but he couldn't. He was furious and upset all the same time. His face felt hot, his body was shaking. Finally, he sat down on one of the dining chairs and tears started running down his face.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck," he muttered as he sobbed uncontrollably.

Namjoon felt like his heart was being ripped out from his chest. The pain was so intense that he struggled to breathe. The phone next to him rang and he half hoped that it was her calling to say that it was a mistake and that she would be back soon but he knew it wasn't. It was one of his clients calling to ask him a question about the big project he was working on. He let the call go to voicemail. Something he can deal with on Monday, he thought.

Walking slowly into the bedroom, he noticed that her side of the wardrobe was empty. It felt weird seeing all that blank space. Even her clothes that were on his side was gone. He remembered jokingly complaining to her that she may need to "Marie Kondo" her closet because she was slowly encroaching on his side.

"But you don't even wear half of these!" Namjoon said as he points to some of her clothes. 

"I can't believe you are asking me to give away my clothes! You know how attached I am to them. They all have a memory to me."

He laughed.

"Like this, for example," she held up a t-shirt which had the word Everland sprawled across the chest, "You bought this for me on our first date remember? I wanted to go on the pirate ship but you were too scared to come with me but you did and I can still hear you screaming in my ears!"