Something to Bond Over || Until Dawn Jossam

The Protector [Part 02]

"You okay?"

I stand up, lashing out in surprise at the sudden touch on my arm—ready to fight whatever it is I need to defend my friends from.

I don't want any more deaths. Not on my watch.

"Mike, it's okay! It's okay!" I hear, looking at equally tired and haunted eyes on the person standing in front of me with hands raised towards me—body language for CALM DOWN.

Sam.

"Jesus, fucking shit," I gasp, trying to lower my beating heart. "That mountain's already fucking with my head," I groan, throwing myself down on the seat I occupied.

"I see them every time I blink, so I get what you're saying," she replies, sitting down on the space beside me.

I look at her and then at the other four who are now turning their heads away from me.

Ashley buries her face on Chris' side and he protectively hugs her. Emily is rubbing her own arms, and Matt pulls her in, his lips on her head. All of them with distant eyes.

No doubt, my little scene is now making each of them wonder how they'll be reacting to a similar situation.

I'm seriously fucking them up more.

"What did you want?" I ask Sam, recalling the reason for my scene.

"I was just gonna ask if you were okay, which I now think is a stupid question," she replies casually. That's what I like about Sam, too. She doesn't judge.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine," I joke as I try to still my still shaking hands.

"Ahhh, we're about the same, then," Sam replies, nodding.

I forgot that Sam is just about the worst in expressing her emotions between the group—almost as bad as Josh, now that I know how much he'd hidden from us.

Josh. Hiding his emotions.

No, there can't be any more Joshes within the group. I need to give what's best for our group, and this won't help Sam.

I take a deep breath. "Sam, about Josh—" I pause, not really knowing how to continue.

"What about Josh?" she asks quietly.

I can feel my lips tremble in anticipation. "Look, I'm really sorry about—"

She shakes her head frantically. "Don't, Mike. Just don't."

I'm not gonna let her take this all in on her own. Chris and Ashley had been talking to each other about what happened in the lodge. Sam's been quiet the whole day.

"No, seriously, he shouldn't have—"

"It doesn't matter what he shouldn't have done," she interrupts me again.

Fuck. The guilt is back. She's right. It doesn't matter now what Josh shouldn't have done. He's dead now because of me—because I left him to die in the mines.

"...I shouldn't have—"

"Mike," she tensely cuts me off for the one hundredth time, "there's a lot of things we wish should and should not have happened back up there. Can you just... stop apologizing?" She sighs tiredly. "You've been doing that since we left the lodge."

I didn't even notice I've been doing that.

"Maybe it's because I should be apologizing," I tell her honestly.

"If that's your way to cope, then fine. We forgive you. Are you okay, now?" she asks me pointedly.

"No," I admit, "but it's a start."