Never Let You Go- A Justin Bieber Interracial Love Story (BWWM)

Chapter 23: Being Stuck

   GABRIELLE'S POV

  Not many people realized how hard it was to actually write a good song, to write memorable music. I had been at this for years with writing my own music, but for some reason, I found it harder to do this very second.
  I don't know if it was because I wanted this wedding to turn out all right, or if it was from my concert last night. Yeah, I was now back on with the rest of my tour. The fans gave out amazing energy, too, so that always felt good.

  Dad sat down beside me and asked me,"What are you doing, baby girl?"

  I said,"Trying to finish this single. It should have been finished a long time ago, but then the whole thing onstage happened."

  Dad read the lyrics I had so far before he looked me in the eyes saying,"This doesn't sound like you."

  "What are you talking about? Dad, I've been sitting here writing this for the last couple of hours. This is all I've got, but it all came from my head."

  Dad handed me back my red notebook and said,"I'm sorry, Gabrielle. I haven't been here. I've missed out on all of this. This is a big part of you, and I can't even recognize what you've been through or how you feel."

  I put my red notebook down on the floor, and I began to show my father every song that I've ever written. I told him the story behind each and every one of them. Dad hadn't been here, but the last thing that I wanted him to be doing was feeling like he just couldn't be a part of my journey. I wanted him to be a part of it always.

  When I made it to the single that I was working on now, Dad became quiet and took a seat on the couch. He chose to sit back and watch as I worked with the music producers in the room.
  As I sang, I began to mess up things that I normally didn't mess up. Then, I was just mixing up everything.

  I looked at my father, and then I looked at the music producers in the room saying,"You guys are free to go. I think that I just need rest for a bit. Thank you for your time."

  They all left, and I walked over to my father.

  He cupped my face and said,"What's wrong, Gabrielle?"

  I rested my hands over his own saying,"I'm just really stressed out trying to write this single. Why is it so hard? It's normally not this hard for me. I keep messing up the words. I keep hitting the wrong notes."

  Dad ran his thumbs over my cheeks saying,"Oh, Gabrielle, honey, you have more responsibilities to handle now. You're engaged. You're trying to pick out a place to hold the wedding, what everyone will eat, and everything else that comes along with taking the next step. You've got to figure out what you can handle and what you can't. Just take it one thing at a time. Right now, focus on the single and get it done. You have months until your wedding. Right now, you focus on your music and the last leg of your tour. Okay?"

  I simply nodded. 

  Dad placed a kiss on my forehead before he said,"Good girl. I'm proud of you, baby. I've got to get to work. Hey, are you here by yourself now?"

  I said,"Yeah, but Justin will be here any minute now. Dad, I'll be fine. I love you too. Drive safely."

  Dad hugged me before he left. I sat down on the sofa as I continued to work on my single.
  When Justin got here, he sat down beside me and attacked me with kisses.

  I smiled and said,"Nice to see you in a good mood today, JB."

  Justin pulled me close and said,"I'm in a good mood because I'm looking at you now. How did recording your single go today?"

  I buried my face in his neck saying,"Terrible. Dad told me that maybe it's because I'm thinking too far ahead with the wedding and all, but I don't think that it's that."

  Justin pulled me into his lap, but he looked down at me as he asked me,"What do you think that it is?"

  I admitted to him,"I'm worried that anything that I write from now on will be looked over. No one will care because they'll only see the woman that has messed up a couple times already. I don't know, Jay. I don't want all of my hard work to be for nothing."

  I was trying not to cry. I was sure Justin had had a long day, and I didn't want to let it out on him.

  Justin pulled me back and gazed into my eyes saying,"What else are you thinking about? We promised to look out for each other. I want you to tell me what else is going through your head."

  I gazed into his eyes saying,"Well, Jeremiah's still out there, and so is Vixen. Singing's a part of me, Justin, just like you are, but so is Vixen and Jeremiah. They both have played important parts in my life, yet because of who they know, they didn't have to go through anything. My father did, and I lost a lot of time with him. God knows how much time I've spent on Jeremiah, but he was never really into me in the first place. That hurts, Justin. It does. The tour's almost over, and I'm actually doing good. Yet, all I can think about is Vixen and Jeremiah messing everything up for me."

  Justin rubbed my back as he replied,"All of this that you're feeling, Gabrielle, it's a part of your journey. I've lost friends. I've lost people important to me. I've felt like my career could stop at any moment, yet I remembered the good things. I remembered the people who loved me. I had faith that things would get better. Gabrielle, Jeremiah and Vixen are nothing more than bullies who just chose you as their target. You choose how you respond to them, how you let them impact your future. You can either choose to let them control you or move on and continue doing what you do best. Which one do you want to do, Gabrielle? Which one will help you get to where you want to be?"

  "I have to move on and keep singing. I have to support you and be a good woman. I want to be the Gabrielle that everyone will remember, not the one that they want to forget."

  Justin gave me a kiss and said,"Well, you do what you need to do, and I'll be here as your support. I want you to keep singing too. I love hearing your voice."

  I wrapped my arms around his neck saying,"I love hearing your voice, too."