Liquid Lucidity (A Novella)

Chapter Ten

"He's protective of you," Shawn spoke from the driver's seat as he drove out of the city. 

There was no use in denying or underplaying it. "Yes, he is." Mostly David was just a friend, but he'd kicked it up a notch since Hannah began working at the bar. 

"I'm happy someone's looking out for you here."

Hannah turned to look at Shawn. This was why their relationship was doomed and this was why she had to get away. Everyone changed their role from whatever it had been to her caretaker. While David looked out for her, it wasn't in the way Shawn was used to doing. 

Shawn hovered and David gave her space. 

Shawn tried to take care of everything himself, always in a rush. David took things in stride and only helped her when she was clearly in need of it. If she failed, it was her failure and not because she'd been discouraged from ever trying. 

"Are you mad at me, Hannah?"

"Take the next exit." Hannah looked away from him and out the window. "Does Lil—y know where you are?"

"I told her I might stop by and see how you're getting along."

"But she does—n't know you're g-go—ing to stay at my place to—night," Hannah guessed. 

"No, she doesn't."

Hannah mindlessly nodded. "You should tell her. And tell her that I'll be slee—ping in the other house to—night."

"You're making a big deal out of nothing, Hannah."

This wouldn't have been a big deal to her if they were still together and Shawn had snuck off to see his ex, then crashed at her place with just the two of them without talking to her about it first. "I w-won't help you s-s-sab—ot-" 

"Sabotage?"

"Your marriage." She hated when he finished a word for her to get it over and done with. It was a little thing, sure, but it had festered and remained this constant thing hovering over her. 

"Say what you're really trying to say."

She looked over at him. "I think you're st-still in love with the per—son I was and think if you hold on long enough, I'm g-go—ing to be that per—son again. But I'm never go—ing to be her again, Shawn, and I'm nev—er going to be fixed."

Hannah ran her fingers through her hair, getting caught in a snarl. "Lily loves you and you are—n't let—ting your—self love her back. Not the way you need to if you want this to w-work with her."

"So, you want me to let you go? Is that it?" Their was an edge to his normally docile voice. 

Hannah wasn't sure what he was looking for when he came here, but whatever it was, it wasn't there for him to find and no matter how defensive he got, she needed to show that to him. "I need you to be—cause I need you to be h-hap—py. I need to be hap—py."

"Are you happy with him?" 

"Take the next right," she told him. "And Dav—id and I are—n't t-to—geth—er."

"You didn't answer the question," he pointed out as he took the next turn. 

That was because it wasn't an easy answer to give. "He d-doesn't make me feel broken. He helps me with—out m-mak—ing me feel use—less. He talks to me and listens like I'm a nor—mal p-person. He does—n't try to force the per—son I was be—fore the ac—cid—ent because he did—n't know her and doesn't see the worst t-time of my life w-when he looks at me.