Liquid Lucidity (A Novella)

Chapter Twenty-One

"Hannah?" David spoke when she remained quiet. 

He did open up. Once he finally gained the courage, he told her something every day. He started small and at the beginning, telling her about his childhood and family. As his stories grew with his age, Hannah began to mentally prepare herself for the truth he'd kept hidden.

This story was different from the others. It wasn't just his first kill for the military, but that of a child soldier. David said he couldn't have been older than twelve, and hadn't taken the shot until the gun pointed at his friend. 

Hannah gave him a squeeze and draped her bare leg across his own beneath the sheets, then placed her hand on his naked chest. 

She saw it coming; not the details, but that this was the story he worried about telling her. She could feel the despair and hesitance heavy in the air. He'd also taken his time making love to her. Normally he was passionate, but this time he'd been so gentle and slow, much like their first time together. 

Everything about it felt different, like he was committing every touch to memory in case she walked out the door. 

"I still love you," she whispered against his chest hair. So far she'd said that after every story.

It wasn't easy waiting for and was even more difficult hearing, but David was right. In order to give your entire heart to someone, who have to know and accept all of the worst. And she did. Despite all of his painful truths, Hannah loved him. 

A quiet sigh escaped the lips above her and he squeezed her naked body tight against his own.  "You sure?"

"Does it get much worse than that?" Hannah asked, hoping he understood the question.

His stories had only recently reached his twenties. He'd joined the military when he turned eighteen, and David told her he'd only retired, or whatever the military called it, five years ago. That meant there were many more stories to come. 

"That was the worst thing I ever had to do. It wasn't the worst thing I'd ever seen, though."

"Then yes, I'm sure I still love you. If you'd smoth—ered a b-ba—by or some—thing, I think I'd prob—ab—ly reach my li—mit, but you were pro—tect—ing a friend, and I get in that sit—u—a—tion you only have a s-sec—ond or two to make a dec—c-is—ion."

"Why do you love me?" David asked above her. 

This wasn't a question that men normally asked. Granted, she'd only ever said 'I love you' to Shawn before she met David, but it still threw her to have David ask. So she took her time and thought. While she may have had many reasons, it would take her forever to list them all. 

Then she thought back to when her parents were visiting and she remembered how it felt after her accident. Her once bright future just quietly vanished right in front of her eyes. 

"When I woke up after the shoo—ting, ev—ery—thing a-b-bout my life was different. I did—n't feel like a had a place in my own life, or a fu—ture. All I had was a past that I could n-n-ev—er get back. Then you b-brushed the hair from my face, picked me up off the ground and let me into your life. Y-you found me a place in my life a—gain and showed me I had a fu—ture."

David let out a groan, slipped his hand out from beneath Hannah's neck, then laid his body to the side to look her in the eyes. "Your future's with me, darlin'. If you still want me, everything I got and everything I am is yours. That's a promise."

"That's a big prom—ise," Hannah replied, though she didn't doubt he'd keep it. She saw how much he felt for her and what he'd do for her. 

That devilish smile took over David's face. "I'll promise you the world if you marry me."

Hannah's eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched, wondering if she even heard him correctly. Of course, her hearing was one of the few things that remained intact. "You have—n't e—ven t-told m-m-me you loved me y-yet, and y-you're ask—ing me to mar—ry you?"

"'I love you' is a big step," David replied, his tone a teasing one. "You can't rush me into that shit."

Hannah balled her hand into a fist and whacked  him in the chest with it. "But marr—iage is—n't a big step at all!"

David grabbed her hand, loosened the fist, and placed her hand atop his heart. "This thing right here has belonged to you the moment you stepped into my life, darlin'. I'm in love with the way you look at me like I ain't a broken piece of shit. I'm in love with the way you talk, and the way you feel against me. There's nothing about you I ain't in love with. I just had to make sure you loved all of me."

So when David told her a month ago he wasn't there yet, he was completely bullshitting. He was there, but knew that in order for her end to be real and trusted, Hannah would have to learn of all the dark truths he'd kept hidden away. 

"I do," Hannah said. Not all of it was easy to hear, and she still hadn't heard it all. But if told her the worst of himself, and if he accepted the worst in her, things he seemed to find more endearing than anything, then she was all in. Forever.

"So... that's a yes?"

Just because Hannah was all in didn't mean she was ready for that. "Fuck you. You just told me you loved me ten sec—onds ago."

David gathered her up in his arms and his devilish smile turned into one of warmth. "Then move in with me."

That was also a big step, but she was already more or less living there now. Her things were still in the apartment above the garage, but Hannah hadn't spent a night away from him since her parents left town. 

"Yes, I'll move in with you."

Cheers erupted from the television screen that was placed on low volume, and David lowered his lips to hers. "Happy New Year, darlin'," he spoke before placing a soft kiss against her lips. 

As Hannah kissed him back with conviction, she already looked forward to the new year, something she hadn't felt for a very long time.