she | ethma

7

song to play: this is a love song, not a sad song- lonely$adboy

•

"do you remember this song?" ethan mumbled. it was our song playing. he put it on, i know he did from the smile on his face.

it's not a mainstream song that you'd hear on the radio and i found whilst just searching around on spotify one day, a long time ago. every word matched our situation.

your love outgrowing your bodies. things getting difficult. but managing it because you're so completely infatuated with the person you're with. and who they make you become.

we were in his car. first time being out in public with eachother and it was eating at me. but i felt calm with presence for now.

"yeah i do." i smile to myself. looking at my hands. it was just the intro and i knew it so well. you would if you listen to it and cried over it for a year.

i know i'm not perfect,

the sun was glowing against his shades.

i know i mess up,

lips that told lies but kissed my body so good enough for me to forget.

but i'll never forget,
when we fell in love,

i could see his heart beating out of his chest. a heart broken enough to love someone who isn't the mother to his children. a heart labelled with my name.

i'm trying to get better,

i saw memories of us throwing things, shouting, crying next to eachother. it's true, we were messed up.

baby understand,
no matter what we go through,

his hands on the wheel, the hands that love to touch mine way more than they are supposed to.

i'm still gonna be your man.

his head turned, from the road to my eyes. his eyes said sorry and mine knew what to say. but i didn't need them to say anything. looking at eachother for a moment. the song just felt more real.

i took his hand instead and looked out on the road. it was cold outside so we were wrapped up warm. we decided to go shopping. i needed to do some last little bits for my mom and then i was finished.

i didn't bother asking him about his christmas- i figured he didn't wanna talk about it since he hadn't asked me and that wouldn't usually happen.

christmas eve was a stupid time to go shopping but it could be fun. going out with ethan in the old days were so stressful. it's the same now. yeah there were ethma fanpages but not even half of how many there used to be.

i'm so glad we can do this without it being everywhere. oh and especially because of kristina.

walking around the stores, people were looking at us funny i would admit. but i didn't pay attention, i just paid attention to the cute chanel christmas decor. i loved it.

i figured buying mom one of her dream bags would be a great christmas present. a large black tote chanel bag with an embroidered studded C. she'll probably cry.

as she should.

as i was paying with ethan behind me, we were giggling over some weird shoes. i said i probably would still fuck him in them. he was having a laughing fit. then the woman at the till stared us out which was understandable until she spoke up.

"are you ethan dolan and emma chamberlain? extreme apologies if not. just curious, if so you both look awfully similar." fuck.

"yeah. yeah we are." ethan struggles to speak with confidence. he should of said no. we should of ran out of the store and gone to a different chanel. there's a million different others.