I may have willingly swallowed the pills, but you're still the one who killed me. you're the reason that i'm gone and i know it's wrong, but i hope it fucking kills you too. if you were to ask me before i would tell you i'd never wish this on anyone, that i wouldn't want anyone to have to feel the way i do, but now? now all i want is for you to feel the pain you've caused me. i want you to be forced to sit to the side and watch as anyone anything that's given you a reason to stay is ripped away. to watch as your last bit of hope dies and makes you wish that you would too. to sit alone everyday crying and tearing apart your skin with bloodied blades. to hate yourself to the point that you can't stand to see your reflection without pinching every bit of fat, and hitting yourself leaving bruises scattered across your skin making it look as disgusting as you feel. to want nothing more than to cry out for help because your sadness is crashing over you like a wave, but you can't scream, you can't even breathe anymore and now your lungs are filling with water and your head is spinning as you choke so you lie there in silence as it slowly pulls you under. do you even understand what you have done to me? for so long i let it go because i felt like i deserved it, and maybe i do, but as i've been falling apart in front of you, you've done nothing but speed up the process. and recently every time i see you i have to fight the urge to wrap my hands around your neck but instead they've somehow ended up around my own. the last time i wrote you something like this i apologized and told you to move on, but this time is different. i hope you never forget what you did to me, how much your words can hurt, how easy it is to break a person beyond repair. i truly hope it haunts you for the rest of your goddamn life that you were the cause of this and that it makes you feel like the shitty person you are.
l.d.w
