You once called me fearless. You said you admired that about me. You said you envied that about me. But in reality, I'm not scared. I'm terrified. I'm terrified that I might be too clingy to you... I'm terrified to lose you. I feel like I might be too clingy and that sooner or later you'll get tired of me all the time.
I say 'I love you' all the time. And I feel like I say it too many times. Aren't you tired of hearing me say those three words? I say them almost everyday, 24/7. I don't want to lose you but I don't want to be so clingy to you. I don't want you to run away from me.
Aren't I annoying? I feel like I am. Almost every time I talk to you, I always tell myself 'don't be clingy. She won't want to talk to you anymore if you're too clingy.' And that's what I'm scared of every single day.
I remember once you asked what my least favorite word was. And I said Love. Do you remember that? I said I chose love because even though it's great to be in love, love only give you the chance to be broken. And I was. And It's scary to fall in love.
But with you... It doesn't seem so scary.
Fear? I feel it everyday. I always have the fear of being hurt, of being rejected. Which is why I hesitated to confess to you. I didn't know how you would react. I thought that if I had confessed, you would stop talking to me. And I didn't want that to happen. I wanted to keep talking to you. I kept telling myself 'don't confess. she'll probably ignore you. if you do.' That was until i got convinced by someone to confess. I won't call them out on it though.
Once I confessed, I'll be honest... I was a bit hurt. But I was prepared for it. But then, time passed and I figured out that confessing wasn't so bad as I thought it was gonna be. I mean, I still get hurt, but it's not your fault in any way. So don't feel bad.
In your letter, you mentioned that you would wonder how I would react if you had told me everything. And I want you to know that no matter what it is, I will always be by your side. No matter what. I can promise you that I will always be by your side.
Love is tough. But I'm sure we can get through this together, right? I trust you with all of my heart. And I want you to know that you can trust me with anything.
-𝓔
