i haven't written one of these in a while. i didn't expect to write this under these circumstances. but, here we are. i don't expect you to read this, i just want to get some things off my chest.
i've told you before that i was always afraid of falling in love, because i was afraid of getting hurt by either rejection or worse. i haven't had the best experience with it. the first time i fell in love, was with a total asshole that i liked for years. after i had gotten rejected, i still continued to like him and i hated it. but the second time i fell in love, was one of the best. when i met you, it was the best thing that could ever happen to me. you were different. you were unique. to me, you were so amazing, and you still are. you were one of the people that i admire. then i fell for you. hard. i told ginnie. ginnie helped me through it all. ginnie was the one that said i should confess. and i did. and it was one of the best decisions that i made. you know i still read that first letter you wrote me? yeah, i like to read it just to remember, which might sound stupid now that i'm writing it down for the first time.
the day you confessed to me, was one of the happiest days of my life. i was so happy because frankly, i thought that nobody could ever fall for me. but you did. i've never been more happy than i was while we were dating. i was so lucky to have such an amazing person like you. i know i've said this countless of times, but i just want to say it one more time. i love you. i love you so much.
what hurt me most wasn't that you ended it. sure, it hurt but not as much as what you said. you told me, "you'll find someone else who will love me better than i ever did." that was what hurt me the most. you probably did it for a good thing though. you know how attached i am, don't you? so you said that to try to get me to move on. but i'm trying. so this will probably be one of the last letters i'll write to you. this is probably a bother to you. i know i'm annoying so i'm sorry if this annoys you.
i stayed up till 3 am, simply from thinking about you. but i didn't cry. i guess i didn't have the energy anymore to cry. but i did write small letters. i couldn't sleep so i wrote what was on my mind. i'll spare you the details since you're probably beyond annoyed by me at this point. i'll stop here just so i can finally shut up. i know i'll go on forever if i don't stop. just don't
i know i've said this countless of times, but let me say it once more. this'll be the last time i say it, i promise.
i love you. i love you so much.
bye...
-𝓔
