Band Romance One Shots (MIW/BVB)

Another Life (Ryan & Vinny)

The following story is heavily based on the song, Another life, by Motionless in White. I love that song so much that I just had to write something which connects to it. And don't forget, if anyone has any requests/ideas for a one shot, you can leave a comment or message me privately:)

"Vinny please," Ryan cried on his knees. "I'm sorry."

"Ryan I told you I can't do this. Would you please stop?"

"What's up? Why's Ryan crying?" Chris asked as he barged into the greenroom.

I sighed before bumping Chris out of the way. Ryan's cries could still be heard as I left the room. I needed to get away from him. It drives me insane when I see him. I wish I could tell him I loved him. That I still wanted to be part of his life. But I can't. I just can't risk getting hurt again. It's better to have him as a friend although I know with my entire being that he is the blood flowing through me. I love him, but he seems to keep me out. And it has created this barrier to us actually connecting. That is why I ended things with him a few months ago. But, it hasn't been going well.

"Hey where are you going?" Chris asked as he pulled my arm.

I pulled myself away from Chris. "To the bus. Where else?!"

"Well, I sent Ryan there. I hope you guys work things out. He is really devastated Vinny. Can't you see?"

"Chris, what don't you understand? Things can never work out between us!"

Chris sighed. I knew he was going to give me the talk of a lifetime now. Before he could do so, Ricky passed with a glass of what I assumed to be whiskey. Without thinking I grabbed it from him and downed it in less than a second.

"What? You guys going to judge me? Just because you don't drink Chris, doesn't give you the right to judge me okay! Shut your boring ass mouth!"

Ricky and Chris both gasped.

"I'm sorry," I said as tears started streaming down my face.

Ricky glanced at Chris. Chris left us alone leaving me alone with my best friend. I heard my message tone go off. It was Ryan and it read, "Vinny, please I need you." I read the message without replying and then turned my attention towards Rick.

"You should reply to that," he said.

"Wow, I'd respect some privacy!" I replied.

"Look Vinny. You can't go on like this. I can see that you're both hurting. Why do you punish yourself like this?"

"I'm just really afraid things doesn't work out again Rick. But, I have considered giving us another chance. I'm just not sure I'll be able to handle it if we fall apart again," I sobbed.

Rick threw his arms over my shoulders.

"Vinny. Who is the first person you think about as you wake and the last person before you go to sleep?"

"It's Ryan."

"Who do you care for the most?"

"Ryan."

"Who makes you happy?"

"Ryan. I can't imagine a life without him Rick."

Rick smiled. "Do you love him?"

"With my entire being," I smiled.

"Then just go get him. Make things right."

I immediately jumped up and to our bus. "Thanks Rick!" I screamed on my way there."

I hope this works. I really need him in my life.

When I entered the bus, Ryan was nowhere to be found. I called out to him, but heard nothing. I made my way to the bunks. He wasn't in any of the bunks. What the fuck is he up to? There's one place I haven't searched and that is the toilet. I made my way over there, but as soon as I reached it, my heart scattered all over the place as I reached for a letter. I held the letter against my chest as I collapsed onto the bathroom floor, tears flowing down my face.

'To my dearest Vinny

I apologize for not being there when you needed me. For breaking your heart. For not treating you the way I should have when I was too caught up in my own woes. I'm really sorry.

The day you told me you couldn't be with me anymore, I keep replaying it in my head. When you told me this relationship broke you, that I basically killed you, your will to live and then walked out the door, it broke me. Vinny I didn't realize that I was hurting you that much. I swear I've always loved you and still do. I miss you so much and it hurts. I hate that I broke your heart. I can't cope with the fact that you're missing from my life. These past few months without you have been a nightmare. I realized that I can't go on without you Vin. I need you. I really do. But, we can't be together. Not in this life anyway.

Everyday is a struggle. You live inside of me. You are in everything that I do. When I'm watching tv, I choose the shows that you would have loved to watch. I eat all your favourite food because you got me addicted to it. I do everything you taught me to do. When I'm doing chores, I remember you walking around the house either helping me out or fooling around and I miss it. When I sleep I hold onto the memory of you. The bed is empty without you. Every night I go to sleep wishing you were next to me. When I wake up I wish you were next to me. You haunt me Vinny. The memory of you. The memory of us. It haunts me. It's everywhere I go. Every single second of every single day you haunt me. I can still see your ghost. My heart can only take so much.

It all makes sense now. When you told me I was hurting you I didn't get it at first. I didn't know what I was doing to hurt you. But I understand now what you meant when you said it hurts. I hate that we fell apart. I didn't mean for it to happen. And now that you're out of my life, I'm going insane. You live inside my heart Vinny. Your life is carved into it. I still love you dearly. I never meant for you to become the enemy. I hate that I caused it.

I love you Vinny. More than I've ever loved anything or anyone. I really hope I'll live on in your heart. In your memory. l can't go on without you Vinny. We couldn't be together forever in this life. Which is why I'm more than willing to rot in hell with you in another life. I'm sorry Vinny, but I hope we meet in another life where I'll be eternally yours.'

I collapsed onto Ryan's body, holding it tightly as sobs escaped me. How I regret giving up on us. I wish I hadn't walked out the door. And now he's gone because of me. He's the only person I truly loved. No more hugs. No more kisses. No more Ryan.