By The Light Of The Blood Moon

Taking A (Guilt) Trip

"So it was all a set up, then?" Angel Dust asked Charlie, both of them looking a little tearful. Charlie softly nodded, as if speaking would cause the dam to burst and she would cry with Angel. 

As for Angel Dust, he wasn't sure how he should feel about this. On the one hand, he knew that he had liked and cared about Al long before all of this, so even if the moon had helped the process along, the result would probably have been the same for him in either instance. He wasn't so sure about Alastor, though. He was sure that he needed out of this room, as it always made him feel as if he was in trouble for something when he was here. After last night and then this morning, he needed time to think and to be on his own, no matter how much he felt like he needed Alastor right now. 

"I'm uh...I'm gonna need some time to think things over about this" he mumbled to Charlie as he stood up to leave. "I think I'll take a walk" Charlie just nodded. There weren't any necessary words at this point. 

Angel made his way out of the hotel, turning to head out of town, where he could walk without running into anyone he knew. He just needed to think this through and figure out what it meant for him...and for Alastor. Jeez, Angel had been thinking about himself, but this wasn't just about him now. Because of Angel, now Alastor had been effectively forced to feel feelings for Angel. As someone who knew all about people doing things with or without consent, Angel was a big believer in consent. He didn't want to take away Alastor's choices, but in a way that was exactly what happened. 

Angel knew he liked Alastor. He liked Alastor a lot and it had been like that basically since the day they met. Sure, at first it was just a physical infatuation, but as time went on he found that he genuinely liked the guy, even if he was a jerk sometimes. Ha, most of the time. Then again, so was Angel, so it worked. He kept walking down the road as it turned from pavement to oil and chip, until he was outside the city limits and near the old pond that was probably part of a home at some point, now the pond the only thing left behind. Homes didn't last long in Hell if nobody was there to take care of 'em. Angel walked across the barren yard, climbing the slight incline and sitting down at the side of the pond bank. 

What was he supposed to do now? The way Charlie talked, there was nothing that they could do to break the curse, and Angel wasn't sure if he even wanted to break the curse, even if he could. Of course, he knew that Alastor probably would if it could be done, but would Alastor resent Angel now that it was all said and done? Angel had been the one to invite him, after all. Angel had also been the one to suggest that they have that dance, the one dance that changed everything. Any way Angel looked at it, this was mostly his own fault. He was the one that decided to take the invitation, against his better judgement, he was the one that invited Alastor to go along, and he was the one that suggested they dance together. There wasn't any part of this that he didn't have a hand in, and it made him feel awful. No, it made him feel guilty, and that was far worse. What was he going to do? 

Angel let himself fall backwards into the tall grass surrounding the pond, enjoying the scratchiness of it. Lying there alone, his mind wandered back to that dance, when everything felt so right. Alastor was leading and Angel was content to glide everywhere on the dance floor with him. The moment had been perfect, Angel looked like a queen and he was dancing with his king, the lighting was so soft and beautiful, Alastor's face had been so tender, his hold had been so secure. Angel could have danced that way forever, had Val not interrupted everything and ruined it. Even the song had been perfect, and at least, Angel thought, at least I can have the memory of it, because that was something he had long given up hope of achieving. 

He sat up and stretched, enjoying the stretch of his muscles. He knew that ready or not, he needed to get back. Alastor had to have returned by now, and they were going to have to sit down and have a serious talk to decide what they were going to do now. Angel decided that it was most fair for Alastor to set the pace and the tone of what they do now. Angel knew that he probably wanted far more from this than Alastor did and he didn't want to force anything else on him. Angel had forced enough onto Alastor's plate already. Standing up, Angel began the walk back to the hotel. It was time to face the music and tackle this head on. He wasn't going to run from the problem. That just wasn't his way, and besides, the need for Alastor was so strong. Even if they decided that they wouldn't be anything more than friends, he needed to be near Alastor and if what Charlie had told him this morning was true, Alastor was probably feeling the same way.