𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤

𝟐𝟏

𝓣𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓭𝓪𝔂
𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟓, 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟕
°𝓟𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮°

" yo she really spit on you bruh?" Nyseem ask sitting across from me. I texted him and told him what happen and he wanted to take me to the mall today. He bought me food and we eating right now.

I nod at him and play over my food. Thinking about it makes me furious, hate that nigga made got me to let go.

" I would've killed her ass. Good thing the school justified yo actions though."

" yeah."

He eats more of his food, staring at me as her does. I'm looking down at my food but I can feel him staring at me.

" you good Prence? you don't seem like yoself."

" I'm good."

" you sure?" He asks eyes still trained on me intently.

I nod, closing my tray after and standing up after.

" come on I wanna go in footlocker." He finishes his food and throws the plate in the trash. I didn't have much an appetite, so I kept my food for later. We walked through the mall until we got to footlocker. When we reach the entrance, I notice the all too familiar stature of the tall, skinny nigga known as Khailil. Beside him the short, small frame of Chey.

I chuckle to myself and watch them for a while.

It's amazing cause this bitch disrespected me in one of the worse ways and he never called, texted, cane over, none of that. My feelings don't come into consideration when it comes to my own "boyfriend". In fact, he rather chill and hang out with her trifling ass.  Ny'seem, who was trailing behind me, catches up and notices them. He just looks like I had been doing and puts a conforming hand on my shoulder.

" can we leave?" I ask, eyes still trained on the sight of the two laughing as if the funniest joke was just told. He nods we walk to the exit of the mall.

°°°

It's close to midnight now and I'm up catching up on work with music playing. It's the time that I get to myself and gather my thoughts that I cherish most. I haven't done much writing lately. I don't know if I have nothing on my mind or if it's too many thoughts to write. Either way, I still had no desire to write truthfully. As I'm working, I feel my phone vibrating.

Khai😔: wassup baby. u good?

I only open it. No response is necessary because had he truly cared he wouldn't just now be hitting me up. I have come to the conclusion that I am the last thing on Khailil's mind. As far as he's concerned I'll be alright with his support and I'm wrapping my head around the fact as well. This is what I get. I deserve to be subjected to all I have experienced. Everything is but a result of my own, ignorant actions and thoughts. I had lost hope for myself and stopped seeking it. I continue to work, as tears flowed down my face.

Pray by Sam Smith played in the background.

I'm young and I'm foolish, I've made bad decisions
I block out the news, turn my back on religion
Don't have no degree, I'm somewhat naive
I've made it this far on my own
But lately, that shit ain't been gettin' me higher
I lift up my head and the world is on fire
There's dread in my heart and fear in my bones
And I just don't know what to say

God and I don't have a relationship. He wouldn't waste his time listening to someone like me. Shit I don't attempt to speak to him. As the song progresses, so does my tears.

You won't find me in church reading the Bible
I am still here and I'm still your disciple
I'm down on my knees, I'm beggin' you, please
I'm broken, alone, and afraid
I'm not a saint, I'm more of a sinner
I don't wanna lose, but I fear for the winners
When I try to explain, the words run away
That's why I am stood here today

I've come fair without the help of an invisible man and I don't need him now. He wasn't there to stop Storm or save me from my wretched mother. He was nonexistent then and so he's going to stay that way.

Won't you call me?
Can we have a one-to-one, please?
Let's talk about freedom
Everyone prays in the end
Everyone prays in the end
Won't you call me?
Can we have a one-to-one, please?
Let's talk about freedom
Everyone prays in the end
Everyone prays in the end

I want my life to end. I'm tired. Tired of living with a heart of wounds, no one willingly to mend them. I've tried and tried and tried on my own but it's impossible. No one cares. No one truly gives a fuck about Prence but I give my all for everyone else. I crawl from my bed and kneel along side it.

Lord, I beg you. Take me, so that I may be free from this pain, from this hell.

Amen.

•••
𝓿𝓸𝓽𝓮
𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽
&
𝓮𝓷𝓳𝓸𝔂