Runaway

11

 am so sorry I was just taking a nap Mam .” I say running my fingers through my hair , the women I saw earlier looking sincere . 

Help all I want is love, not a hope  , I gave up on my dreams already all I wanted  hope . Maybe     I am using Zach . I am not good enough for him , I am just a fat pig who doesn't deserve him . Zach is sweet , caring , nice , funny , smart , chill, and so much more . I touch my side as I flop onto my bed the lady from earlier comes into my room . “Hello my name is Jessica Lauren however you may call me Mrs.Lauren , anyway I am with the school  .” Mrs.Lauren says a look plastered onto her face so fake . A look so fake that made Barbie jealous , “Okay so why did you need to talk to me , if you're from the school.” I reply back to her very snarky. I put the fire and watched the anger burning inside of her smiling at the pain . “ Well a test came back from school and we matched it to someone else , that someone happens to be your twin brother . Your mother had two children however she gave up your brother .” Mrs.Lauren blurts out , my jaw dropped I instantly wanted to know more . “What is his name , and where is he ?” I bluntly ask  staring her down as she sits on the foot of my bed smoothing out the thin baby blue blanket. Mrs.Lauren soon left my room , leaving me too think . The simple click of my bedroom door shutting rang in my head . I sat up hugging my knees to my chest . Tears streamed from my eyes down my face , I am lost and scarred . She never told me anything about him , I can not believe my very own mother couldn’t of told me that I have a twin brother . Each memory flashes through my mind like I was reliving the shooting all over again. I was ten hiding behind the couch trying not to scream . Watching my Mom’s blood splatter against the wall my  father passed out in someone's lawn after running for miles . I watched her die , I watched my mom die a slow painful death . I thought at that moment I won’t be missed if I die . Right? I am stuck in the crummy orphanage , I already am alone no one should miss me if I am gone . No one likes me here , I stand up my legs weak wobbling like jello . Stumble to my bathroom feeling numb . However I have so much emotion surfacing . I take my old dirty hand mirror shattering it before I take a single breath I fall to the ground . My back sliding against the cold hard tiling . I reach over a weight on my chest closing in , for a brief second I stopped to think right before I take the glass and slide it across my wrist . A bright red colors my wrist , at that moment I was an artist with a bad paint . I kept reliving the pain with each cut . Two for Zach , three for Mom , four for Mark ,five for everyone in the fucking orphange , lastly one for my brother . 

Blood pooled in my lap, I felt so weak , I wanted to scream however I could not talk . I barely could let out a single whisper . I wanted this so bad now that this has happened I don’t want it anymore . The pain familiarize itself with my body it had been such a dangerous thought process . But I had no one to stop me , not one person to help me so here I lay blood crusting itself to the old dirty black and white broken floor tiles . A lump in my throat , choking back the tears because I had no  salt left , therefore I could no longer shed a single tear .