Runaway

12

She just left therefore I went back up to my room to hide . Barricade myself from the outside world , contacting Zach via text . I miss him enough ', just enough to hide myself from him , knowing he was my only escape from this crummy trash bin . My hallmark card hasn;t arrived just yet , you know the one with the perfect family and the golden retriever dog that the mother and father had gotten for their children a few years back , happy smiles plastered onto their faces so genius to see . While my parents are gone , my dad in jail my brother I just found out I have , I don;t even know where my mother dead and gone . God I feel so goddamn faithless in this stupid world I do not belong here . With these deserving people who have something , I am just a lead weight holding them down underwater drowning them bit by bit slower than I realized . Tears streamed down my face I lick the salt from my lips , faint from earlier the tears stop I come 6to a conclusion  that I am out of salt . I have no more tears left to cry literally . I lay down my eyes get heavier I lose the battle to sleep . The die has been longer than the time span on earth is for a day . It felt like a whole fucking year went by , in one day wich isn;t, over anyways . I tried and tried to become a beautiful mess , instead it I became an ugly mess . The mess that no one wants to clean up or mess with whatsoever’. Why am I like this? Is this the spiralling that everyone talks about but never knows when it happens. I guess I am stuck . I as in Marilyn Ashlee am a runaway mess , stuck in this world without a family , and the only one I do have I have never known . 

I grab my bag filling it with a handful of bills , along with blade , as well as what is left of  my “family” pictures and cell phone and charger . I text Zach to meet me at our spot , I leave every regret behind as I climb out of that old wooden window , eating splinters in my palms . Running to the water tower frantically waiting for a spot to take the pain away . I hide behind the wall in an abandoned alleyway . Next door to a liquor shop hoping for a sign of Zach , knowing I could see him from here climb the water tower.  In that moment I felt on edge , knowing that Zach I could trust I unlock my phone to see his ocean diamond blue eyes . Chills form upon my legs ass the adrenaline gets to me . Climbing up the water tower I feel warm blood from a cut spill down my arm . Seeing how fast it spilled meant multiple cuts opened right there as I climbed through the pain . Zach's gaze immediately fell down to my arm , or my red covered soaked sleeve . He rushed down to my side at my aid , he went to my backpack for the baandaids I had frogotten were in there . He placed one on the cut after taking off his shirt holding me down to clean it . Not gonna lie right then and there it felt nice to have someone care about me ;, although I felt guilty that he had to do this . Zach was never supposed to know about it , nor find out because I ran away to find my twin brother .