The Only One I See

I Love You

Eren didn't know exactly why he had told him. Maybe he trusted him; maybe he just needed to let it escape before it grew a mouth and ate him from the inside out. All he knew was that his big secret, the one that he had never spoken aloud, not even to himself, was in the possession of someone else.

No. Not just someone else. Levi. cool, mysterious, bad boy Levi. He couldn't believe that the most desirable guy in school held his biggest secret.

He couldn't believe that he held Levi's biggest secret, either.

The next day, he felt almost normal. Eren wasn't anxious that someone might see him for who he really is. He wasn't nervous to be around others who didn't know (which was everyone). He wasn't even scared of the jocks pushing him into the lockers. He felt a little more free, a little less confined, and a little better off. He felt as if his heart was done lying.
...

"What's this?" Eren asked, pointing at the book that was sitting in front of his raven haired hero. After he was through crying, he sat down and explained the whole story to, who had had currently dubbed his savior, Levi. He had seemed indifferent through most of Eren's story. The only time a prominent emotion surfaced Levi's abnormally cool demeanor was when Eren had told him of the kiss and what happened after. The only thing on Levi's face was the purest mix of jealously and rage. It made Eren oddly happy.

Eren hadn't even thought about why Levi had been in the library until his chest spasms had ceased. He scanned the title.

"Hearts That Lie," Levi read aloud. He paused before answering Eren's question, "It's a poetry book."

"You like poetry?" he asked. Levi seemed to tense. "That's nice." He relaxed. "Read me some." Levi thought about his next move carefully. Without even opening the book, he began to speak soulfully.

"What should I do when my heart lies?

Pretends to rest dormant

Then leads me to what is bad

Ignoring what is good

Should I listen?

To my heart or to my head

There are so many different ways

To portray mind over matter..."

There was a surprised silence in the air, shock wafting from both boys. Levi, for exposing not the first, but the second secret of his in the past five minutes. This insignificant freshman knew things about him that not even Hange knew, or so he guessed she didn't know.

Eren was in shock for the fact that he himself knew these confidential secrets that belonged to the forbidden fruit known as Levi. Even though he had only known him for a week, he felt connected to him in a way no one else was. They were connected by their shared secrets and Eren's despicable past.

"You have that memorized?" Eren asked.

"Yeah," Levi answered, still in complete surprise. He shook it off and began explaining, "I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I was trying to convince myself that some things aren't there when the really are."

"I can't relate to that."

"You shouldn't have to," Levi wispered.
...

"Hey, Eren!" called a voice down the hall. It was different from how that voice usually sounded. The tone that was usually cold and hard was now almost compassionate and apologetic. Eren turned to find the last person he would have imagined baring down the empty hall towards him.

Jean.

"Uh," Eren squeaked, Hi." Jean pushed him into the janitors closet. Eren's head hit the wall and yelped.

"Ow!"

"Sorry!" Jean said. He seemed flustered. Well, he didn't seem flustered, he was flustered. In no other form would Jean be this nice.

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologize. Listen kid, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I'm even more sorry about what happened at the party. Could you ever forgive me?" Before yesterday Eren would have said something along the lines of, 'Are you crazy? I drunkenly admitted my love for you and you punched me in the face!' But after his talk with Levi, he answered with...

"I already have."

Jean in took a sharp breathe and pushed him against the wall. He forced his lips onto the younger boys. Suddenly, Eren was aware of every place that Jean was touching him. His hands on Eren's lower back. Jean's knee between his legs. Lips on lips, skin on skin. Jean pushed their stomachs together, desperate to get closer.

"I love you," Jean growled.

"Jean, I-"

"Say it back!"

"But I-"

"Say it!" Jean leaned down another aggressive kiss but Eren pulled away.

"Wait a minute, would you?" Eren snapped. Jean must have been surprised at Eren's reaction because he pulled away, no part of him touching the younger boy. "What is going on."

"I needed to make it right. I needed to show you that I was sorry."

"So you made out with me?"

"Well, yeah. I guess."

"Listen, Jean. You don't love me and I don't love you. I may have at one point, but not anymore. You were my best friend. Then you hurt me but I forgive you. You don't need to lie to yourself." Eren looked Jean square in the eyes. For once, Eren seemed like the bigger person. He seemed like the one in charge. Jean was about to defend his case but his phone rang. He checked it, a text from Marco. Eren observed Jean's face. He wore a small smile and the same sized blush. Eren had a feeling he knew how to handle this. "Hearts lie, you know." Jean looked up, obviously confused. "They lead you to what is bad, ignoring what is good," Eren said, quoting what Levi's poem had said yesterday in the library, "I'm not saying that I'm bad, but maybe I'm bad for you." He paused, "Jean? Do you love Marco?" Jean's eyes grew from quarters to tennis balls.

"What? Marco? He's," he paused. Eren tried to decided if Jean was trying to find a label for him or not, "He's my best friend."

"It's okay, Jean. I think he cares for you, too."

"You think I don't know that?!" he snapped.

"No, I was just saying..." Eren thought of all the times that Marco had dragged Jean away from torturing him. All the times that Marco had looked lovingly into Jeans eyes, trying to send him any kind of signal.

"I know that Marco loves me," Jean said, "But I also know that I'm not good enough for him. Marco is perfect. I'm just the asshole that breaks people's hearts."

"No, you're not. You are so much more than that. Just because you hurt me once doesn't mean you have to do it to anyone else. I forgive you, Jean. Now it's time you forgive yourself." Jean looked at Eren with a mixture of gratitude and realization. He took him lightly by the shoulders and hugged him.

"Thank you so much, Eren."

Eren had just began to hug back when the door to the janitors closet opened.

"Jean?"

Eren and Jean both looked at the intruder. It was Marco.

"Marco, no. This isn't-" he ran off before Jean could finish. He looked back at Eren.

"Go get him. Make sure you tell him who sent you," Eren smiled. Jean smiled back, then left.